Yeeep. Exactly what I had to deal with earlier.

Was... Was it NVidia? Because guess who had to do the same thing for the same game as well as RPG Maker?

at art or have a deep pocket.

There's bad RPG Maker games with RTP, no doubt about it. I've seen them. But it kind of feels hypocritical to say that "Graphics aren't important" and then you bash an RPG Maker game for using RTP immediately even if there may be reasons behind it beyond "laziness"?

We all need Peanut Butter Cookie nights so I don't blame you.

*Has Snickerdoodles in her shelves though*

want to stream and do other stuff. But I hate how every time I do stuff, shit keeps happening in my life. And it feels like most of it is either on deaf ears or people /don't/ want to hear it.

Sorry. I needed to do this.

keep ruining it. And it makes me feel like by the time I get the money, shit will happen where I'd have to give it all away.

It is a lot of random stuff but it is all put together that made me have to vent it out. I'd be willing to open up to answering stuff but I just needed to vent.

I do-

me. And I keep attracting people like them and not the people I do want to do stuff with. It has been exhausting.

And there's also the Inheritance stuff after my Grandmother passed away that has been in a bit of limbo due to family drama. There's a lot of money in my name but family matters-

like they don't trust me on their true feelings. This has been a constant too.

Also I have been dealing with a stalker of sorts who wants me to roleplay with them so badly that they said they'd go into Final Fantasy 14, a comfort game of mine to make a character and try to find me /just/ to remind-

of people. They say they promise to do something with me but don't do it but end up doing said thing with others. And/or they keep putting it off and off and also secretly don't want to do said thing with me, only saying it to not hurt my feelings. It ends up hurting me more because it feels-

of stopped caring right now but it always felt like a one-way street. And I had people in my face who said they didn't mind me venting told me they secretly didn't want me to vent. And that forced me to write it all in a journal.

Also there's the feeling that I don't feel wanted by a lot-

but in general to my 30, soon to be 31 years of life that I have essentially been diagnosed with heavy dissociation from reality just so I can imagine myself in scenarios where I feel wanted.

And there is also the feeling that I can have people vent to me but I can't vent to them. I kind-

that goal post keeps being moved to the point that said people will move it to keep putting me down and not invite me to stuff.

After a while it destroys my self confidence and makes me believe giving up is preferable. To be honest, it has gotten so bad and not specifically to the 14 issue-

being rejected by stuff I wanted to do and have a passion for constantly. People assume I can't do something in my life and either don't let me in or just essentially belittle my skills. And it adds a lot of perfectionism to me on doing anything to get noticed and even if I do exceed expectations-

play 14 to me unless I either give up on raiding for good. And it doesn't help I had so-called casual groups sign me in for blind/fresh progs in a tier only for them to not let me in because I haven't finished a current Extreme blind for a weapon.

This ends up becoming a universal issue of me-

leave me aside. I do appreciate the people who do help but the other stuff has been exhausting. It honestly reminds me how since childhood I have been having people not give me a chance at anything, especially if they need newbies into stuff. And I also had friends tell me that they refuse to-

then has been either IRL issue going on, being pushed away by others because I don't have the experience and need the experience to raid with them, or drama stuff I don't want to get into. And having people in my face, both strangers and freinds tell me they think I can't do it and just-

this since because of government SSI stuff.

Another issue is I have been having issues of being pushed away into stuff I want to do because a lot of peopel doubt me. I have been trying to do FF14 Raiding for like five or so years and outside of a P1S clear before I move, every single tier-