unless there is a misunderstanding, i disagree with your comment on my initial post; i know trans women who aren't on HRT and are beautiful.

that said, everyone who wants hormones should have access and i hope you are able to get your hormones soon, one way or another.

clarify?

you can probably hack the reverse of this to trick yourself into being kinder to yourself - i.e., out there somewhere is a woman built like you and if you're saying mean things about your appearance your also insulting hers.

okay i guess some of them are "i am reduced to my utility, i get clear instructions, and expectations are clear"

Once again asking "What if a doll was a lament configuration that you beat to solve it."

someday i will finish something lmao

my mom taught me to be afraid of strangers, my young autistic brain took this super literally and applied it to everyone i didn't know, and most of my childhood and early adulthood reinforced it. i've been unlearning it, particularly as i find my own people, but fucking hell

it would be so easy if i was just a super introverted person with social anxiety! but no, there has to be this internal tension between what i want and what feels safe.