Bent Headlines
@bentheadlines.bsky.social
Original humor writing. Wordplay, satire, parody, fun. Optimist. Newsman.
MA woman crashes into cranberry bog, adds sugar, comes to boil
November 27, 2025 at 2:29 PM
MA woman crashes into cranberry bog, adds sugar, comes to boil
FBI releases Bigfoot's official file per family's request
November 25, 2025 at 3:39 PM
FBI releases Bigfoot's official file per family's request
Guy up watching yet another Accident Case Study: A Case Study
November 21, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Guy up watching yet another Accident Case Study: A Case Study
Stoics, stones break man's bones
November 21, 2025 at 11:33 AM
Stoics, stones break man's bones
Broccoli stalk soup keeps showing up at chickpea's workplace
November 20, 2025 at 11:45 AM
Broccoli stalk soup keeps showing up at chickpea's workplace
33 pages abducted from vintage sci-fi paperback
November 19, 2025 at 1:35 PM
33 pages abducted from vintage sci-fi paperback
Couch potato with Bradycardia tries to think of it like having the resting heart rate of an elite sleeping athlete
November 18, 2025 at 1:38 AM
Couch potato with Bradycardia tries to think of it like having the resting heart rate of an elite sleeping athlete
Jack and Jill head back downhill after Jack never supported her career
November 16, 2025 at 1:53 AM
Jack and Jill head back downhill after Jack never supported her career
Man-apes begin cord cutting after cascade of extraterrestrial streaming services they're expected to pay for becomes unbearable
November 12, 2025 at 2:21 AM
Man-apes begin cord cutting after cascade of extraterrestrial streaming services they're expected to pay for becomes unbearable
Hudson Pewter can't hit splitter
November 11, 2025 at 1:38 PM
Hudson Pewter can't hit splitter
Doctor resorts to bringing male doctor with her so patients take her seriously when she calls them hypocondriacs
November 8, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Doctor resorts to bringing male doctor with her so patients take her seriously when she calls them hypocondriacs
Tea company pioneering modern British biscuit is Peak Frean
November 7, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Tea company pioneering modern British biscuit is Peak Frean
Neurodivergent woman coaches HR dept on her right to vibrating footmat, headphones, doodlepad
November 6, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Neurodivergent woman coaches HR dept on her right to vibrating footmat, headphones, doodlepad
Human Evolutionary Studies major learned to smile at parents to motivate them to continue providing care
November 4, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Human Evolutionary Studies major learned to smile at parents to motivate them to continue providing care
Paper just feels like it's dragging all the time
October 23, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Paper just feels like it's dragging all the time
Doctor proposes pioneering new treatment for medical jargon-filled term for symptoms patient has just told us
October 22, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Doctor proposes pioneering new treatment for medical jargon-filled term for symptoms patient has just told us
Popular new OnlyFans site just script consultant assuring writers they nailed their inciting incident
October 21, 2025 at 12:07 PM
Popular new OnlyFans site just script consultant assuring writers they nailed their inciting incident
Praying mantis can't seem to ditch awkward guy at garden party
October 18, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Praying mantis can't seem to ditch awkward guy at garden party
Origami fortune teller not mincing words about man's upcoming kidney stone
October 17, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Origami fortune teller not mincing words about man's upcoming kidney stone
Guy's muse screws pooch
October 15, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Guy's muse screws pooch
Ladders keep pranking ladder with handicap
October 14, 2025 at 5:42 PM
Ladders keep pranking ladder with handicap
Novel virus already complaining about neighborhood influx of nouveau virus
October 13, 2025 at 10:21 PM
Novel virus already complaining about neighborhood influx of nouveau virus
Deconsecrated church welcomes new spiritual admonisher
October 10, 2025 at 11:03 AM
Deconsecrated church welcomes new spiritual admonisher
Dilbert finding "immense" happiness since being cancelled
October 5, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Dilbert finding "immense" happiness since being cancelled
Late blooming Neanderthal didn't go extinct from interbreeding with modern humans until 1979
October 5, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Late blooming Neanderthal didn't go extinct from interbreeding with modern humans until 1979