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beelzebarb.bsky.social
beelzebarb
@beelzebarb.bsky.social
Native Floridian. Team Tampa Bay. Elderest of millennials. Collector of cats, ankle sprains, and marginally insane hobbies. Book nerd. Sports nerd. All-purpose nerd. World's Okayest Beer League Racecar Driver. She/her.
Me: I've been driving in Florida for almost 30 years. Nothing can surprise me.

Florida drivers:
November 23, 2025 at 5:07 PM
I can't tell if my fortune cookie is giving me a compliment or a sick burn
November 23, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Somebody decided to have a go at the yarn barf while I was in the shower
November 21, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Some personal news 🍍😎
November 15, 2025 at 1:24 PM
The morning after Halloween, I discovered that I'd sent this text to my boyfriend. Look what I wrote. Zero of the wealthy, powerful, ostensibly brilliant individuals featured in these emails managed to put together a single sentence composed as well as the one I wrote while incandescently high.
November 12, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Exactly this. The right wing is a haven for anyone looking for a loophole in the social contract.

I also suspect that this is what really drives the horseshoe theory phenomenon. It's not ideological. Glem became besties with Tucker because nobody else let him be an asshole without consequences.
November 7, 2025 at 11:47 PM
It's....pleasant outside? I don't know how to handle this.
October 30, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I posted this six years ago, and I still experience that agony every time I'm reminded that he exists
October 24, 2025 at 11:56 PM
I got him a leash so he could get some exercise for a change. In hindsight it's obvious he would just potato wherever I put him down.
October 8, 2025 at 9:50 PM
I like this succinct and frank acknowledgement that "white people spicy" and "spicy" are two totally different things
October 4, 2025 at 10:48 PM
September 22, 2025 at 11:26 PM
September 17, 2025 at 4:33 AM
The only thing to worry about would be hurting myself in my rush to get out the door
September 16, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Update: no shitshow, no copay!

And I took @abigail.cloverdalelane.com's advice and got some ice cream.
September 15, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Oh my god, I've become this Futurama gif. Please forgive my moment of incandescent stupidity.
September 11, 2025 at 7:48 AM
LOOK AT THIS EXCITED GOOFBALL
August 30, 2025 at 11:14 PM
I'M GROWING A FOOD ERMAHGERD

I've been waiting 8 YEARS for that plant to produce fruit.
August 17, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Perhaps a photo of my friend's utterly deranged kitten might help?
August 16, 2025 at 8:10 PM
I never expected to do a Hunter Biden Appreciation post, but here we are.
August 15, 2025 at 8:06 PM
When Cuomo tries to be likeable, he comes across as sinister. When he tries to come across as sinister, he reveals himself to be a clown.
August 9, 2025 at 8:16 PM
absolutely losing it 💀
July 8, 2025 at 8:44 PM
a big fan of a big fan

@darthbluesky.bsky.social
June 23, 2025 at 3:04 AM
I'm gonna go ahead and assume that now is not a great time to complain about my ridiculously terrible day at the track (I'm ok), so instead, look at this faaaaaaaaace 🥰
June 22, 2025 at 2:05 AM
June 18, 2025 at 12:46 AM
I meant to post this a few days ago but LOOOOOOOOK LOOK AT WHAT I MADE ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?

(I know there are a few mistakes, but she's the first serious project I've finished, and she's perfect)

@doress.bsky.social
June 13, 2025 at 12:06 AM