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beekept.bsky.social
beekept
@beekept.bsky.social
tired of writing bios. just send me a prompt and/or template and i might respond.
I’m staying in a haunted historic hotel, and upon hearing what sounded like children’s footsteps running up and down the stairs in the middle of the night, I found myself unable to muster the slightest bit of fear or even unease. I am really no fun at all.
December 17, 2025 at 7:06 AM
Reposted by beekept
We’re looking for 50 first time donors to support our work! Help fund our lawsuit against ODNR, push for statewide policy changes, and halt petrochemical expansion in Licking County! #GivingTuesday

www.mightycause.com/donate/Bucke...
December 2, 2025 at 3:00 PM
My toxic trait is falling asleep while trying to get my toddler to nap, then waking up to find she is still awake, but extra grumpy and defiant and it’s now too late for her to nap, and there is no hope of getting anything done around the house
November 29, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Reposted by beekept
Join us tomorrow (Friday) at 1PM ET for an info session on the hazards of oil and gas waste road spreading and why your community should participate in our upcoming advocacy event at the Ohio Statehouse!
Staying Safe from Radioactive Road Spreading in Ohio · Zoom · Luma
Learn about the risks of spreading oilfield brine on roads across Ohio. Even though oil and gas waste brine is radioactive and dangerous, tens of thousands of…
lu.ma
February 27, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Toddler coming into my room at 5:30am: Mommy?

Me: How are you?

Toddler: I’m having a good day! Is it your birthday?

Me: no

Toddler: why not?
February 18, 2025 at 10:52 AM
This Sunday!
February 6, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Toddler: “mommy, can I have a sharp thing?”
Me: 🤔
February 2, 2025 at 2:52 AM
My toddler is very funny until I remember that she’s almost always doing an impression of me
January 31, 2025 at 5:47 AM
Toddler observing her snow boots: Do my shoes have teeth?
January 12, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Me to toddler upon discovering the latest incomprehensible mess: Why did you do this?!

Toddler: I just wanted to make you happy!
January 12, 2025 at 4:13 PM
This morning I was tired and had cramps, and during breakfast resorted to communicating in grunts and groans. My toddler looked at me and said “Mommy, use your words.”
January 1, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Whoever’s in charge of naming batteries needs to get their shit together. The ones I need for my kid’s light-up book have *5* different names, and not one of them yields results when searched in instacart, even though I know that Kroger and CVS carry them.
December 30, 2024 at 3:09 AM
Toddler pulling an uncooked shell noodle out of a box: “it’s a mac and chee!”
December 28, 2024 at 1:24 AM
Toddler put blueberries under my pillow. And then didn’t want to sit on the “yucky” side of the bed (the side with blueberry smeared on the sheet)
December 20, 2024 at 4:50 AM
I need a clone with a different menstrual cycle
December 10, 2024 at 4:02 AM
I’ve recently learned that one of the best parts of being employed as a parent w/very few parent friends is that now I can pay people for childcare and then I have someone with whom to share memes about toddler behavior.
December 4, 2024 at 7:38 AM
Ya know what does not help a toddler fall asleep? When a sleepy toddler animation loop is interrupted by a very loud advertisement 20 min in.
December 4, 2024 at 3:34 AM
The past few years my Instagram ads have ranged from prairie dresses to tactical gear to queer fashion to pharmaceuticals to pet products, but today I got a Kitchenaid ad and I know that I am officially an Old.
December 3, 2024 at 12:31 AM
Toddler: my finger hurts
Me: what happened to it?
Toddler: maybe a buffalo
Me: what did a buffalo do?
Toddler: a buffalo scratched me! Like a kitty!
December 1, 2024 at 3:38 AM
Toddler arguments against different kinds of fruit (proposed by me as an alternative to having chocolate for breakfast):
Orange—too juicy. You’ll make a big mess.
Apple—too much work. It will fall down.
Blueberries. It won’t help.
November 25, 2024 at 1:39 PM
On Saturday, I not only took an after breakfast nap while my kid watched cartoons in my bed, but I then proceeded to fall asleep at 8pm and sleep for almost 12 consecutive hours (facilitated by my kid sleeping for 12 hours after skipping her afternoon nap).
November 25, 2024 at 5:45 AM
How can I find a song that was removed from Spotify if I don’t know the artist or title? (It was the only track i had in bedtime playlist for my kiddo, which is now empty 😢)
November 25, 2024 at 1:22 AM
Among my favorite toddler questions this week (and also, perhaps, the hardest to answer:
‘What does “boo!” mean?’ and ‘what does “boop!” mean?’
November 24, 2024 at 11:23 PM
Toddler, matter-of-factly, while banging on the doorframe of her bedroom with the plastic mallet that came with her xylophone: “I’m making your house better. This is hard work.”
November 24, 2024 at 2:03 PM
When I have $ in the bank it takes a lot of self control to not have Indian food delivered to my house every night.
November 22, 2024 at 2:23 AM