Beejay
@beejaysbrain.bsky.social
This page is for my feelings, thoughts, musings, and most of all, I play to dump some of my baggage into the void of the internet. If you are already following my lude page it's cool if you would rather not have me in stereo lol.
So many of my friends are going through super tough times. Medical bills, laid off, zero job offers due to this economy. I wish made enough money/ won the lottery so I could ease their pain.
October 28, 2025 at 3:03 PM
So many of my friends are going through super tough times. Medical bills, laid off, zero job offers due to this economy. I wish made enough money/ won the lottery so I could ease their pain.
Ugh why is crushing on someone the worst?! Im 100% sure he doesn't feel the same way but everytime he messages me I get so dumb. Im laying in bed thinking of him, the dumb dates we would go on, little gifts, meals I would make him (acts of service and touch are my love language). ugggh I hate this.
September 24, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Ugh why is crushing on someone the worst?! Im 100% sure he doesn't feel the same way but everytime he messages me I get so dumb. Im laying in bed thinking of him, the dumb dates we would go on, little gifts, meals I would make him (acts of service and touch are my love language). ugggh I hate this.
After the news today! watch this.
How To Save Gay Marriage
YouTube video by Under The Desk News
youtu.be
August 11, 2025 at 10:43 PM
After the news today! watch this.
I can meme about it now so im doing better.
June 21, 2025 at 10:40 PM
I can meme about it now so im doing better.
im broken and tired of trying to fix myself.
June 14, 2025 at 2:29 PM
im broken and tired of trying to fix myself.
Sorry to be a downer, but I just had to get these out since I dont have anyone local to talk to about this. Most likely for the best.
May 21, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Sorry to be a downer, but I just had to get these out since I dont have anyone local to talk to about this. Most likely for the best.
My perfect world is no longer a place where im happy. It's a place where everyone else gets to be fulfilled, enriched, and safe. Somewhere where everything that's bad can live and die with me. Yes, im seeing a counselor just these feelings feel like they could eat the world right now. 1/??
May 21, 2025 at 10:08 PM
My perfect world is no longer a place where im happy. It's a place where everyone else gets to be fulfilled, enriched, and safe. Somewhere where everything that's bad can live and die with me. Yes, im seeing a counselor just these feelings feel like they could eat the world right now. 1/??
For example, if I can siphon all the terrible feelings from the people I love and care about an they can just sit in my apartment with me, and only me the world would be better. Everyone else should discover happiness and passion. My perfect world is one where everyone else gets to be happy. 1/ ??
May 21, 2025 at 10:02 PM
For example, if I can siphon all the terrible feelings from the people I love and care about an they can just sit in my apartment with me, and only me the world would be better. Everyone else should discover happiness and passion. My perfect world is one where everyone else gets to be happy. 1/ ??
My only motivation was making sure jane had a stable life. Now that she's gone, sometimes I drive around just listening to music or working grubhub just to be productive. I've truly never felt so alone in my life. The scary part is it feels right, like it was always headed to this. 1/??
May 21, 2025 at 9:58 PM
My only motivation was making sure jane had a stable life. Now that she's gone, sometimes I drive around just listening to music or working grubhub just to be productive. I've truly never felt so alone in my life. The scary part is it feels right, like it was always headed to this. 1/??
It's been a while since I've updated this:
-Job is secure.
-Had to say goodbye to jane.
-Greif has exacerbated my mental health issues.
*I've lost all my passion for living. Everything is too heavy these days. I work, I go to the gym, I cook and I lay in bed. 1/?
-Job is secure.
-Had to say goodbye to jane.
-Greif has exacerbated my mental health issues.
*I've lost all my passion for living. Everything is too heavy these days. I work, I go to the gym, I cook and I lay in bed. 1/?
May 21, 2025 at 9:54 PM
It's been a while since I've updated this:
-Job is secure.
-Had to say goodbye to jane.
-Greif has exacerbated my mental health issues.
*I've lost all my passion for living. Everything is too heavy these days. I work, I go to the gym, I cook and I lay in bed. 1/?
-Job is secure.
-Had to say goodbye to jane.
-Greif has exacerbated my mental health issues.
*I've lost all my passion for living. Everything is too heavy these days. I work, I go to the gym, I cook and I lay in bed. 1/?
My mind is just letting go of everything, I feel like all I can do to stay teathered is focus on my faults and how everything is terrible. Am I using the faults in the world to justify leaving it.
March 20, 2025 at 10:26 PM
My mind is just letting go of everything, I feel like all I can do to stay teathered is focus on my faults and how everything is terrible. Am I using the faults in the world to justify leaving it.
I feel like I'm already dead and im just waiting for someone to bury me.
March 20, 2025 at 12:58 AM
I feel like I'm already dead and im just waiting for someone to bury me.
I got zero in savings, my job is thwarting any chance I have of being productive, I can last about a month on savings, unless I spend that on jane as she is refusing to eat on and off.
February 27, 2025 at 12:52 AM
I got zero in savings, my job is thwarting any chance I have of being productive, I can last about a month on savings, unless I spend that on jane as she is refusing to eat on and off.
Worried about everything. My own mental health has been in the red, so much lately, it's hard to see the hope in anything. Worried for friends, Worried for my job, my family. I just feel so helpless, and all I can do is watch the world fall apart.
February 21, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Worried about everything. My own mental health has been in the red, so much lately, it's hard to see the hope in anything. Worried for friends, Worried for my job, my family. I just feel so helpless, and all I can do is watch the world fall apart.
Yesterday was Jane's 14th birthday! I know our time may be coming to a close soon but our adventure has been amazing.
February 10, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Yesterday was Jane's 14th birthday! I know our time may be coming to a close soon but our adventure has been amazing.
this, this right here.
This is really a terrible time to work in an industry that requires you to be aware of what is happening
February 8, 2025 at 10:13 AM
this, this right here.
ugh I was suppose to go out tonight to a bar and actually try to meet people but im just exhausted. I'm just so tired of worrying about whats going to happen. An I even had a good day. I'm so fucking lonely.
February 8, 2025 at 3:41 AM
ugh I was suppose to go out tonight to a bar and actually try to meet people but im just exhausted. I'm just so tired of worrying about whats going to happen. An I even had a good day. I'm so fucking lonely.
The best day since this horrible government takeover has started, got a good work project in place, jane is getting a little better. This week almost broke me.
February 8, 2025 at 2:44 AM
The best day since this horrible government takeover has started, got a good work project in place, jane is getting a little better. This week almost broke me.
Friends listening in on the neighbors fight, a story in three parts.
February 7, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Friends listening in on the neighbors fight, a story in three parts.
I've never been under this much stress before. Work is pretty much having to justify everything, an as we have to approvals for everything we have to keep busy. Jane is sick and im worried she is getting close to the end.
February 4, 2025 at 3:54 PM
I've never been under this much stress before. Work is pretty much having to justify everything, an as we have to approvals for everything we have to keep busy. Jane is sick and im worried she is getting close to the end.
So far, so good. It looks like I'll still have a job for the week. However, we do have a big meeting this wed.
February 4, 2025 at 1:05 AM
So far, so good. It looks like I'll still have a job for the week. However, we do have a big meeting this wed.
wish me luck everyone, I find out today if I'm on the first wave of layoffs at my facility.
February 3, 2025 at 2:16 PM
wish me luck everyone, I find out today if I'm on the first wave of layoffs at my facility.
Reposted by Beejay
A good thing happened last night at the Grammys. The Swamp Princess won 🐊#Doechii
February 3, 2025 at 12:58 PM
A good thing happened last night at the Grammys. The Swamp Princess won 🐊#Doechii