My fucking Philips sonicare stopped working this morning and unfortunately it's looking like that was the last straw

If I was Oppenheimer I'd spend all that money on a confetti bomb and everyone would have loved me

I'm allowed to tweet about cum in here

Yo dude you've been acting really weird lately, I don't think we should watch porn side by side at the family computer anymore

Starting a fundraiser for overprivileged youth where I give them trauma that will endear them to the working class

Does anybody have an invite code to Threads

Making a Mr. Skin type website but to catalogue every time someone looks like they stink like hell in a movie

"this would fix me" and it's a bottomless barf bag

I am not interested in this kind of interaction (getting my shit absolutely rocked)

Feeling incredible about my first day on #bluesky #theskyisthelimit

This is my hat man, this is who I see when I take 40 benadryl and listen to matchbox 20. Acab barbie is married to the New York DA and she killed a man with her car on camera and didn't even go to trial

Making dinner