Lady walks into the bar while I'm stocking beer. Ask her if "[she's] here to pick up an order?"
I get a sharp "no" in response. Getting up off the floor, I grab a notepad, pen and menu. Ask her what I can get her.
"I called in two pizzas". . . Mfw she just said she WASN'T here to pick up an order

Go birbs

A treat, for these difficult times 😔

Felt cute, might delete later

Happy belated holidays

Any recommendations for phones with good selfie cameras?

Froggo Phone-Answerer Fridays

My boyfriend no longer owns this shirt can we get an F in chat?

Hi to all my friends from the app formerly known as Twitter 🥰