@bebopj.bsky.social
“I’ve got reverse-heartburn! It’s cold!”
@cantmissliss.bsky.social
@cantmissliss.bsky.social
October 10, 2025 at 12:33 AM
“I’ve got reverse-heartburn! It’s cold!”
@cantmissliss.bsky.social
@cantmissliss.bsky.social
Don’t get me wrong, I dig Tubi. But I don’t get the “Back by Popular Demand” section. Would they really have me believe that diehard fans are petitioning them to bring back The Hot Chick? Just feverishly emailing them demands that they give back the Rob Schneider content they crave?
September 21, 2025 at 3:20 PM
Don’t get me wrong, I dig Tubi. But I don’t get the “Back by Popular Demand” section. Would they really have me believe that diehard fans are petitioning them to bring back The Hot Chick? Just feverishly emailing them demands that they give back the Rob Schneider content they crave?
Being John Malkovich 2: Having Been John Malkovich
September 20, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Being John Malkovich 2: Having Been John Malkovich
“Ya know, sweetheart, it just goes to show you there’s no shortage of respiratory ailments Scott Stapp could succumb to.”
@cantmissliss.bsky.social
@cantmissliss.bsky.social
September 18, 2025 at 2:08 AM
“Ya know, sweetheart, it just goes to show you there’s no shortage of respiratory ailments Scott Stapp could succumb to.”
@cantmissliss.bsky.social
@cantmissliss.bsky.social
For the last time, guys. JD Vance’s name does not stand for “Jorkin Dapentis” Vance.
September 3, 2025 at 1:58 PM
For the last time, guys. JD Vance’s name does not stand for “Jorkin Dapentis” Vance.
I mean, more realistically I’ll graduate at 37-38 with the PhD. But the feeling? Undeniably valid.
August 27, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I mean, more realistically I’ll graduate at 37-38 with the PhD. But the feeling? Undeniably valid.
On review, I can confidently report that the best character in ‘The Other Guys’ is the unnamed hotdog vendor right at the beginning.
August 23, 2025 at 2:01 PM
On review, I can confidently report that the best character in ‘The Other Guys’ is the unnamed hotdog vendor right at the beginning.
The “grizzly bear” is not instead called the “grizzliest bear” and we are right to be afraid.
August 21, 2025 at 1:48 PM
The “grizzly bear” is not instead called the “grizzliest bear” and we are right to be afraid.
At age 33 I have started organically doing sudoku puzzles in the bathroom. Never been more sure that I’m in my prime.
August 8, 2025 at 1:46 PM
At age 33 I have started organically doing sudoku puzzles in the bathroom. Never been more sure that I’m in my prime.
Planning to lose my born-again virginity at Toyotathon.
July 30, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Planning to lose my born-again virginity at Toyotathon.
That scene from Titanic where Jack and Rose are floating on the door, except it’s just me and there’s no door and I’m in a Kroger parking lot in Ohio and a raccoon is trying to wrestle a package of imitation crab meat out of my hands.
July 26, 2025 at 4:17 PM
That scene from Titanic where Jack and Rose are floating on the door, except it’s just me and there’s no door and I’m in a Kroger parking lot in Ohio and a raccoon is trying to wrestle a package of imitation crab meat out of my hands.
The most unrealistic thing about MΞGAN 2 is that Gemma has ever watched a Steven Seagal movie.
July 26, 2025 at 3:55 PM
The most unrealistic thing about MΞGAN 2 is that Gemma has ever watched a Steven Seagal movie.
Officially enrolled in my Neuroscience and Biomedical Research seminars for the PhD program and lab rotations are taking shape, baby.😎
July 22, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Officially enrolled in my Neuroscience and Biomedical Research seminars for the PhD program and lab rotations are taking shape, baby.😎
Ugh. Hate it when one thing leads to another.
June 29, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Ugh. Hate it when one thing leads to another.
Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Baby Bear, and Stephen Colbert. Come on folks, this stuff writes itself.
June 29, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Baby Bear, and Stephen Colbert. Come on folks, this stuff writes itself.
The Twilight series is really about a very simple question: Would you rather crack open a cold one with the boys, or crack open a boy with the cold ones?
May 10, 2025 at 8:01 PM
The Twilight series is really about a very simple question: Would you rather crack open a cold one with the boys, or crack open a boy with the cold ones?
“Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh”
*gently licks tip of finger and turns page of hymnal*
“Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
Gaga, ooh-la-la”
*gently licks tip of finger and turns page of hymnal*
“Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
Gaga, ooh-la-la”
May 10, 2025 at 6:37 PM
“Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh”
*gently licks tip of finger and turns page of hymnal*
“Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
Gaga, ooh-la-la”
*gently licks tip of finger and turns page of hymnal*
“Rah, rah-ah-ah-ah
Roma, roma-ma
Gaga, ooh-la-la”
“Biblically accurate Pumba.”
- @cantmissliss.bsky.social
- @cantmissliss.bsky.social
March 20, 2025 at 1:11 AM
“Biblically accurate Pumba.”
- @cantmissliss.bsky.social
- @cantmissliss.bsky.social
Call me crazy, but McDonald’s should offer to upgrade your fries to a pack of Marlboro 100s for $1.50.
March 17, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Call me crazy, but McDonald’s should offer to upgrade your fries to a pack of Marlboro 100s for $1.50.
[intercom]
Attention, Kmart shoppers. Todd acts like he's the boss of me but he's not. We're both assistant manag- *scuffling sounds overtake the air*
Attention, Kmart shoppers. Todd acts like he's the boss of me but he's not. We're both assistant manag- *scuffling sounds overtake the air*
March 17, 2025 at 1:09 PM
[intercom]
Attention, Kmart shoppers. Todd acts like he's the boss of me but he's not. We're both assistant manag- *scuffling sounds overtake the air*
Attention, Kmart shoppers. Todd acts like he's the boss of me but he's not. We're both assistant manag- *scuffling sounds overtake the air*
“Jedi” is plural.
The singular form is Jedopus.
The singular form is Jedopus.
March 17, 2025 at 1:06 PM
“Jedi” is plural.
The singular form is Jedopus.
The singular form is Jedopus.
“The Black and Tan Coonhound looks like a dog that works the night shift.”
- @cantmissliss.bsky.social
- @cantmissliss.bsky.social
March 10, 2025 at 3:21 AM
“The Black and Tan Coonhound looks like a dog that works the night shift.”
- @cantmissliss.bsky.social
- @cantmissliss.bsky.social
Greece: Behold the Colossus of Rhodes!
Egypt: I give you the Great Pyramid of Khufu!
England: lol Big Ben.
Egypt: I give you the Great Pyramid of Khufu!
England: lol Big Ben.
March 9, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Greece: Behold the Colossus of Rhodes!
Egypt: I give you the Great Pyramid of Khufu!
England: lol Big Ben.
Egypt: I give you the Great Pyramid of Khufu!
England: lol Big Ben.
Today we observe the anniversary of the historic battle wherein Jason reclaimed Manhattan from the Muppets.
March 8, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Today we observe the anniversary of the historic battle wherein Jason reclaimed Manhattan from the Muppets.