“Is that a carrot 🥕 in your pussy or are you happy to see me?” 😜🤣 Second day with the largest dilator. Not painful but definitely…um…stretchy.

Realizing that I will be at 16 weeks postop this Friday. I turned a corner and gradually went from “oh no, what have I done” to, this week, “thank god I did this!” ❤️

Hmmmm…..I’m not sure if watching vaginoplasty surgery videos right now is keeping me calm by desensitizing me or actually promoting a dissociative episode that shuts off the “WTF are you doing?!?!” thoughts. 😜😅 Anyway, 48 hours until surgery and I’m oddly serene. 😌

As a bigger person, I was anxious that I would be denied surgery because of my weight. I’m otherwise healthy but you never know. Well today I had my anesthesiology assessment and was approved for my surgery in just under 3 weeks. <SIGH. OF. RELIEF.> 😜😀

I’m not sure when I was first struck by gender/body dysphoria but I do have a vivid memory stuck in my mind that has been resurfacing a lot lately as I get closer to my surgery.

I suppose I should actually post things here if I want to engage with folks 😜🙃😀

Well it has been a long wait and I probably won’t believe it’s true until I wake up after the fact, but my vaginoplasty surgery is January 31st! I am relieved, excited, scared, and hopeful. 🩷❤️🧡🩵🤍💚