This week I had to take my therapy appointment from the car. And when she logged on, she was like wow Ruth you have a beautiful face. She gushed at me for about a minute about how pretty I am.

Best $35 co-pay I ever spent.

Then I realized it's because she usually sees me at therapy like this:

Went to this book signing and Lauren was smart, funny and engaging. Whoever did this cupcake topper is a pro.

My six year old didn’t want to go to school. When his test was negative he decided to take matters into his own hands.

Planning my next vacation

Me explaining to my husband in great detail why the Doechii Tiny Desk Concert was a brilliant piece of modern art.

We need to bring more attention to this cause. Children are dying….

to hear more dad jokes

Post a picture you took (no description) to bring some zen to the timeline

Tried to write good morning u sexy ass bitch for my alarm but autocorrect just hosed me so hard

You’re just so amazing that’s why I abuse you.

So many of us have heard this song before.

Dump his ass, Suzanne.

Put in a mobile pick up order for my son for hydrocortisone cream for a shampoo allergy but purchased anal itch cream instead.

You’re welcome son.

In my defense does this scream anal to you.

Had a 4 lb little buddy for movie night tonight she didn’t even try and eat my snacks