Bryan is not my possible new hero btw. I am taken with Mary Elizabeth Lease. Currently trying to read up on her.

Her background makes me think I’m going to find mad racism, though. I can admire parts of people and be critical of other parts, ofc, but it’s disappointing.

Why is the electric Jello so damn moody?

oh noooooooooooo

I recently added Vyvanse and it’s not as miraculous and instantaneous as the Wellbutrin, much more subtle, but holy shit it cured my writer’s block. Just for that I’m never going back.

I am lucky and Wellbutrin works for me. It was like…have you ever had an appliance that looks kind of bleh and gets stained and marked up easily, and then one day you realize there was a protective film on it the whole time and you peel it off and suddenly it looks great? That.

Whew yes. Being able to pick up a cane when my knee feels fucky means I can keep weight off it and not blow it out completely.

We are all walking blindly toward the grave. So get a cane if you want one. Why make the walk harder?

If your knees don’t go, your ears will, or your wrist or hip or back. Your eyes change around age 40 and you lose near vision. You need glasses. You know, assistive devices for your face.

It gets easier to accept and live with, though, and here on the other side, the temporary nature of being able-bodied really starts to glare. If you live long enough, you will become physically disabled.

It was hard because it seems… permanent. That I have to accept I will never “get better” and start being able to breathe well and brain well 100% of the time, without assistance. That is hard to accept.

For some reason people often have a mental block about buying a cane. I did, but I can’t remember why. Maybe it was part of the process of accepting that I have several disabilities? Bc that was hard.

There is NOTHING WRONG with getting a little assistance if you need it, if you think you might need it in the future, if you think ice spikes sound cool (they are), if you also want to put reflective bone stickers on one. They have ghosts too! bookmanvisibility.com/en-us/collec...

You aren’t pretending to be disabled, or making a big deal out of nothing, or taking a resource away from someone who needs it more, or any of the other objections that clog up your brain. Canes are useful and fun. Buying one keeps the place in business. Do it.

The point of this little story is if you ever think “it would be nice if I had a cane” then buy the damn cane. Mine cost $25. Go to fashionablecanes.com and browse.

But when I need it, I NEED it. I fell a few months ago and fucked my leg pretty badly. The emergency department sent me home with a walker, that bad. I got there with the help of my cane, though. That let me get into the car so I could be driven to the ER.

I need to use my cane rarely. A lot more in the winter, bc it has an ice spike. 🗡️ Love that thing, so useful.