Bart Elbey
@bartle-bee.bsky.social
Sometimes scribbler of the littlest stories.
"Take away the words and all that's left is... indescribable."
"Take away the words and all that's left is... indescribable."
Pinned
Bart Elbey
@bartle-bee.bsky.social
· Mar 5
-I grew up in Cognito, a small unfriendly hamlet where you never knew your neighbour’s business and you minded your own for your dear shabby life itself.
- Did you enjoy your childhood there?
- Where? Do I know you? Move along now.
#vss365 #incognito
- Did you enjoy your childhood there?
- Where? Do I know you? Move along now.
#vss365 #incognito
Dudley Sourchops didn’t take kindly to the new family of #atoms that moved in upstairs. On account of the interminable yapping of their pet quarks, he poured rancid milk into their #saucers. The giddy-goos lapped it up like leptons, then puked like a gaggle of gluttonous gauge bosons.
#vss365
#vss365
October 21, 2025 at 3:57 PM
His staunch aversion for the place the flighty types call ‘The Gymnasium’ had inevitably resulted in his ongoing transportation of a suitably #undertoned posterior.
#vss365
#vss365
October 13, 2025 at 1:56 PM
His staunch aversion for the place the flighty types call ‘The Gymnasium’ had inevitably resulted in his ongoing transportation of a suitably #undertoned posterior.
#vss365
#vss365
There was a hint of hoodwinking, a dollop of deception, a modicum of malice, a scintilla of skullduggery, a soupcon of chicanery, a hint of hoodwinking, a morsel of monkey business, an #undertone of uppity-wuppity… Altogether a frightfully farcical fusillade of flimflam.
#vss365
#vss365
October 13, 2025 at 1:28 PM
There was a hint of hoodwinking, a dollop of deception, a modicum of malice, a scintilla of skullduggery, a soupcon of chicanery, a hint of hoodwinking, a morsel of monkey business, an #undertone of uppity-wuppity… Altogether a frightfully farcical fusillade of flimflam.
#vss365
#vss365
- What’s an ad, Vert?
- A blatant and callous attempt to persistently diminish your cash at hand balance, Monish.
- Wow! Who would have thought?
- What’s an ad, Monish.
- Uhhhh. Emmm. I don’t remember, Vert. Just go ahead and reprimand me, why don’t you.
#vss365 #advert #admonish
- A blatant and callous attempt to persistently diminish your cash at hand balance, Monish.
- Wow! Who would have thought?
- What’s an ad, Monish.
- Uhhhh. Emmm. I don’t remember, Vert. Just go ahead and reprimand me, why don’t you.
#vss365 #advert #admonish
October 8, 2025 at 9:59 AM
- Morning Beefy
- Morning Onion
- Wet one.
- Teary.
- What’s up today?
- “The Wellness Challenge in the Pre-#Elasticated Undergarment Era.”
- Meaty one.
- Teary.
- Make a start then?
#vss365
- Morning Onion
- Wet one.
- Teary.
- What’s up today?
- “The Wellness Challenge in the Pre-#Elasticated Undergarment Era.”
- Meaty one.
- Teary.
- Make a start then?
#vss365
October 5, 2025 at 9:41 AM
- Morning Beefy
- Morning Onion
- Wet one.
- Teary.
- What’s up today?
- “The Wellness Challenge in the Pre-#Elasticated Undergarment Era.”
- Meaty one.
- Teary.
- Make a start then?
#vss365
- Morning Onion
- Wet one.
- Teary.
- What’s up today?
- “The Wellness Challenge in the Pre-#Elasticated Undergarment Era.”
- Meaty one.
- Teary.
- Make a start then?
#vss365
Faced with the myriad of exotic instruments to be found lounging in the suburban husband’s virginal #toolbox, I chose to #press ahead and forego the luxury of making good the knob adorning the lavatory door.
#2WordPrompt #vss365
#2WordPrompt #vss365
October 3, 2025 at 1:16 PM
Faced with the myriad of exotic instruments to be found lounging in the suburban husband’s virginal #toolbox, I chose to #press ahead and forego the luxury of making good the knob adorning the lavatory door.
#2WordPrompt #vss365
#2WordPrompt #vss365
Reposted by Bart Elbey
October 1, 2025 at 12:54 PM
NO!
No more ‘Something walks into a bar.’
No more ‘Knock, knock this or that.’
NO MORE..
Better be #sonorous, and scream our mighty voices against this shameful appall.
#vss365 #freepalestine #stopthekilling
No more ‘Something walks into a bar.’
No more ‘Knock, knock this or that.’
NO MORE..
Better be #sonorous, and scream our mighty voices against this shameful appall.
#vss365 #freepalestine #stopthekilling
September 26, 2025 at 11:15 PM
NO!
No more ‘Something walks into a bar.’
No more ‘Knock, knock this or that.’
NO MORE..
Better be #sonorous, and scream our mighty voices against this shameful appall.
#vss365 #freepalestine #stopthekilling
No more ‘Something walks into a bar.’
No more ‘Knock, knock this or that.’
NO MORE..
Better be #sonorous, and scream our mighty voices against this shameful appall.
#vss365 #freepalestine #stopthekilling
In the 1980s he joined a synth-pop band. He played keyboards on and off, always quite badly. He was on the verge of being thrown out until one day he managed to deftly sum the current predicaments of the band into a coherent whole. Now they call him the #synthesiser.
#vss365 #synthesis
#vss365 #synthesis
September 18, 2025 at 3:15 PM
In the 1980s he joined a synth-pop band. He played keyboards on and off, always quite badly. He was on the verge of being thrown out until one day he managed to deftly sum the current predicaments of the band into a coherent whole. Now they call him the #synthesiser.
#vss365 #synthesis
#vss365 #synthesis
A #tool walked into a bar.
‘What’s making you so cross?’ #verbalized the barman.
It was a Philips screwdriver.
#2WordPrompt #verb #tool
‘What’s making you so cross?’ #verbalized the barman.
It was a Philips screwdriver.
#2WordPrompt #verb #tool
August 17, 2025 at 5:30 PM
A #tool walked into a bar.
‘What’s making you so cross?’ #verbalized the barman.
It was a Philips screwdriver.
#2WordPrompt #verb #tool
‘What’s making you so cross?’ #verbalized the barman.
It was a Philips screwdriver.
#2WordPrompt #verb #tool
A rainbox walked into a bar.
‘What progress at the Academy?’ asks the barman.
‘Sarge is well pleased,’ gleamed the rainbox. ‘Reckons if I get rid of just a couple more sharp edges, I’ll be right out there striding my stuff after the rain clouds stop plopping.’
#vss365 #rainbow
‘What progress at the Academy?’ asks the barman.
‘Sarge is well pleased,’ gleamed the rainbox. ‘Reckons if I get rid of just a couple more sharp edges, I’ll be right out there striding my stuff after the rain clouds stop plopping.’
#vss365 #rainbow
August 12, 2025 at 6:30 AM
He wore a #rug, nonchalantly.
She didn’t like how it veered to the side, threatening his dinner plate, perilously.
He tried to make amends, unsuccessfully.
She made a #scene, indifferently.
#2WordPrompt #AdverbsarenotjustforChristmas
She didn’t like how it veered to the side, threatening his dinner plate, perilously.
He tried to make amends, unsuccessfully.
She made a #scene, indifferently.
#2WordPrompt #AdverbsarenotjustforChristmas
August 11, 2025 at 4:33 PM
He wore a #rug, nonchalantly.
She didn’t like how it veered to the side, threatening his dinner plate, perilously.
He tried to make amends, unsuccessfully.
She made a #scene, indifferently.
#2WordPrompt #AdverbsarenotjustforChristmas
She didn’t like how it veered to the side, threatening his dinner plate, perilously.
He tried to make amends, unsuccessfully.
She made a #scene, indifferently.
#2WordPrompt #AdverbsarenotjustforChristmas
I met her at Chess Club. She was a #spider from a web in the attic. She #laughed when I told her my ‘An arachnid walks into a bar’ blague. I fell in love with her twinkly eyes, all 4 pairs. I made it to her kid’s Sports Day, where we tumbled together joyously through the 9-legged race.
#vss365
#vss365
August 10, 2025 at 11:30 AM
July 25, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Two #tears walk into a bar.
‘It’ll all end in them,’ muses the barman.
‘No, we’ll not be moved to that lot, luvee,’ avows the barwife.
‘Likely we’ll break into them first, luv’.
‘What are they here for anyway?
‘For The Fears, luv.’
‘Looks like everybody wants to rule the world.’
#vss365
‘It’ll all end in them,’ muses the barman.
‘No, we’ll not be moved to that lot, luvee,’ avows the barwife.
‘Likely we’ll break into them first, luv’.
‘What are they here for anyway?
‘For The Fears, luv.’
‘Looks like everybody wants to rule the world.’
#vss365
July 24, 2025 at 10:49 PM
A #promise walks into a bar.
“Call yourself a fancy-pants declaration of intent to fulfil?” screams the barman. “What are ya? Some sort of highfalutin assurance of things to come? Get out of it, ya slimy charlatan!”
Hastily, the promise retreats from the bar, clearly broken.
#vss365
“Call yourself a fancy-pants declaration of intent to fulfil?” screams the barman. “What are ya? Some sort of highfalutin assurance of things to come? Get out of it, ya slimy charlatan!”
Hastily, the promise retreats from the bar, clearly broken.
#vss365
July 22, 2025 at 1:52 PM