@barredbard.bsky.social
Smarmy attorney. Captain of chivalry. Baron of decency. Tadpole of villainy. Yeoman, Starfleet. If knaves persist and insist, I shall resist till they desist.
The helmet keeps my massive brains from oozing out . . .
The helmet keeps my massive brains from oozing out . . .
All these years battling with Microsoft Word and its often-uncooperative formatting, and I just now discovered that it has a "clear all formatting button."
This first world problem has dogged me for years. Stamped: resolved.
This first world problem has dogged me for years. Stamped: resolved.
July 1, 2025 at 6:41 PM
All these years battling with Microsoft Word and its often-uncooperative formatting, and I just now discovered that it has a "clear all formatting button."
This first world problem has dogged me for years. Stamped: resolved.
This first world problem has dogged me for years. Stamped: resolved.
I remain a neutral spectator and far be it from me to plant any ideas. I only wish to point out that real men used to settle their differences by duel.
June 6, 2025 at 12:56 AM
I remain a neutral spectator and far be it from me to plant any ideas. I only wish to point out that real men used to settle their differences by duel.
African proverb: When two elephants fight, it's the grass that suffers.
As the South African's massive ego collides with the Mango Mussolini's equally fragile ego, our job is to be cool, imperturbable spectators. Behind dark sunglasses.
Alien vs. Predator. Neither can garner any support.
As the South African's massive ego collides with the Mango Mussolini's equally fragile ego, our job is to be cool, imperturbable spectators. Behind dark sunglasses.
Alien vs. Predator. Neither can garner any support.
June 5, 2025 at 7:54 PM
African proverb: When two elephants fight, it's the grass that suffers.
As the South African's massive ego collides with the Mango Mussolini's equally fragile ego, our job is to be cool, imperturbable spectators. Behind dark sunglasses.
Alien vs. Predator. Neither can garner any support.
As the South African's massive ego collides with the Mango Mussolini's equally fragile ego, our job is to be cool, imperturbable spectators. Behind dark sunglasses.
Alien vs. Predator. Neither can garner any support.
Kevin Bacon has always been a favorite and has aged like fine wine. As has Julianne Moore. So, naturally, I had to check out the new Netflix series, Sirens.
Quite an enigmatic series. And no, not dark comedy, as it was described. And how did I not know Meghann Fahy till now . . .
Quite an enigmatic series. And no, not dark comedy, as it was described. And how did I not know Meghann Fahy till now . . .
May 28, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Kevin Bacon has always been a favorite and has aged like fine wine. As has Julianne Moore. So, naturally, I had to check out the new Netflix series, Sirens.
Quite an enigmatic series. And no, not dark comedy, as it was described. And how did I not know Meghann Fahy till now . . .
Quite an enigmatic series. And no, not dark comedy, as it was described. And how did I not know Meghann Fahy till now . . .
In 1999, Sting came out with that memorable song, "Desert Rose."
In 2025, it is Kristi Gnome on a camel in the Middle East, a desert troll . . .
In 2025, it is Kristi Gnome on a camel in the Middle East, a desert troll . . .
May 27, 2025 at 9:36 PM
In 1999, Sting came out with that memorable song, "Desert Rose."
In 2025, it is Kristi Gnome on a camel in the Middle East, a desert troll . . .
In 2025, it is Kristi Gnome on a camel in the Middle East, a desert troll . . .
Happy Memorial Day from President Trump, from his current location in a runaway Boeing 747 commissioned by a Middle Eastern dictator . . .
May 26, 2025 at 3:06 PM
Happy Memorial Day from President Trump, from his current location in a runaway Boeing 747 commissioned by a Middle Eastern dictator . . .
For more than 50 decades, Strom Thurmond (who had a black child out of wedlock) held the longest record for a filibuster, as he sought to hinder the Civil Rights Act of 1957.
Senator Cory Booker is on track to chase that foul taste away, with the filibuster he began yesterday.
Senator Cory Booker is on track to chase that foul taste away, with the filibuster he began yesterday.
April 1, 2025 at 11:13 PM
For more than 50 decades, Strom Thurmond (who had a black child out of wedlock) held the longest record for a filibuster, as he sought to hinder the Civil Rights Act of 1957.
Senator Cory Booker is on track to chase that foul taste away, with the filibuster he began yesterday.
Senator Cory Booker is on track to chase that foul taste away, with the filibuster he began yesterday.
I am undeniably a danger to myself. I eat things without checking the expiration date. The ex used to come over to throw expired things away.
I discovered that my hot sauce had expired in 2022. When researching a new one on Amazon, I came across this! Had to have it, to see.
I discovered that my hot sauce had expired in 2022. When researching a new one on Amazon, I came across this! Had to have it, to see.
January 5, 2025 at 11:09 PM
I am undeniably a danger to myself. I eat things without checking the expiration date. The ex used to come over to throw expired things away.
I discovered that my hot sauce had expired in 2022. When researching a new one on Amazon, I came across this! Had to have it, to see.
I discovered that my hot sauce had expired in 2022. When researching a new one on Amazon, I came across this! Had to have it, to see.
I could not make it the UK this Xmas. The Thai restaurant was already closed, so tomorrow it'll be Chinese food for me.
Procured and secured. Bourbon chicken and General Tsao's chicken (whoever he is) with shrimp fried rice . . .
Procured and secured. Bourbon chicken and General Tsao's chicken (whoever he is) with shrimp fried rice . . .
December 24, 2024 at 11:45 PM
I could not make it the UK this Xmas. The Thai restaurant was already closed, so tomorrow it'll be Chinese food for me.
Procured and secured. Bourbon chicken and General Tsao's chicken (whoever he is) with shrimp fried rice . . .
Procured and secured. Bourbon chicken and General Tsao's chicken (whoever he is) with shrimp fried rice . . .
With Avocados at $2.39 each, why do people take the risk of smuggling drugs? Avocados are nearly as profitable. Smuggle those . . .
December 20, 2024 at 5:50 PM
With Avocados at $2.39 each, why do people take the risk of smuggling drugs? Avocados are nearly as profitable. Smuggle those . . .
Apparently our soldiers behave like the Witchers. They take potions, and then their eyes turn black. And then they're faster and stronger.
Or in Pete Hegseth's case, they become a drunk who assault women and stumble into work late, with the smell of alcohol in their breath.
Or in Pete Hegseth's case, they become a drunk who assault women and stumble into work late, with the smell of alcohol in their breath.
December 5, 2024 at 12:12 AM
Apparently our soldiers behave like the Witchers. They take potions, and then their eyes turn black. And then they're faster and stronger.
Or in Pete Hegseth's case, they become a drunk who assault women and stumble into work late, with the smell of alcohol in their breath.
Or in Pete Hegseth's case, they become a drunk who assault women and stumble into work late, with the smell of alcohol in their breath.
Justin Trudeau's visit to Mar-a-Lago will be nothing short of adventurous as he endures suggestions that Canada become the 51st state whilst dodging bits and bobs from KFC: the very definition of a juggling act
December 4, 2024 at 5:32 PM
Justin Trudeau's visit to Mar-a-Lago will be nothing short of adventurous as he endures suggestions that Canada become the 51st state whilst dodging bits and bobs from KFC: the very definition of a juggling act
Kash Patel is now to be the Director of the FBI. And the hits keep coming from the Pumpkin Palpatin . . .
December 1, 2024 at 12:32 AM
Kash Patel is now to be the Director of the FBI. And the hits keep coming from the Pumpkin Palpatin . . .
It might be said that I am in pursuit of dinner . . .
November 30, 2024 at 2:03 AM
It might be said that I am in pursuit of dinner . . .
Trump: "There were good people. On both sides!"
November 29, 2024 at 10:58 PM
Trump: "There were good people. On both sides!"
I'm still chasing after lunch. Goal: to catch the turkey and cook it before noon, Eastern Time. Plan B: Tabby cat. Plan C: Siberian Husky . . .
November 28, 2024 at 3:59 PM
I'm still chasing after lunch. Goal: to catch the turkey and cook it before noon, Eastern Time. Plan B: Tabby cat. Plan C: Siberian Husky . . .
I have suggested - and was only half kidding - that Canada should accept Mexican immigrants and have them build a fence along Canada's border with their increasingly unhinged neighbor, America. I would be on the wrong side of the fence, so there's that.
November 26, 2024 at 3:13 AM
I have suggested - and was only half kidding - that Canada should accept Mexican immigrants and have them build a fence along Canada's border with their increasingly unhinged neighbor, America. I would be on the wrong side of the fence, so there's that.
The gradual metamorphosis of Twitter.
<Credit and glory be to @MichelleRoy5506 on Twitter>
<Credit and glory be to @MichelleRoy5506 on Twitter>
November 16, 2024 at 7:30 PM
The gradual metamorphosis of Twitter.
<Credit and glory be to @MichelleRoy5506 on Twitter>
<Credit and glory be to @MichelleRoy5506 on Twitter>
I haven't seen it, but this appears to be the explanation.
November 14, 2024 at 5:46 PM
I haven't seen it, but this appears to be the explanation.
She likes to beg whenever I'm eating anything.
And I always indulge. She has only ever rejected two things. A slice of pineapple. And the mini pepper that I am currently eating.
Outright rejection. Her eyes said, "how dare you?"
And I always indulge. She has only ever rejected two things. A slice of pineapple. And the mini pepper that I am currently eating.
Outright rejection. Her eyes said, "how dare you?"
November 10, 2024 at 8:58 PM
She likes to beg whenever I'm eating anything.
And I always indulge. She has only ever rejected two things. A slice of pineapple. And the mini pepper that I am currently eating.
Outright rejection. Her eyes said, "how dare you?"
And I always indulge. She has only ever rejected two things. A slice of pineapple. And the mini pepper that I am currently eating.
Outright rejection. Her eyes said, "how dare you?"
Have you heard of the Livewire? That's my ride.
November 10, 2024 at 6:46 PM
Have you heard of the Livewire? That's my ride.
My new motorcycle helmet is vintage German, half-face, goggles appended to the top.
Like the French say, if I'm going to die, might as well do so in style . . .
Like the French say, if I'm going to die, might as well do so in style . . .
November 10, 2024 at 5:55 PM
My new motorcycle helmet is vintage German, half-face, goggles appended to the top.
Like the French say, if I'm going to die, might as well do so in style . . .
Like the French say, if I'm going to die, might as well do so in style . . .
So, dragon fruit. I realized at the grocery store I've never had one. Hope there is no trick to eating this. And that I will not be incubating a clutch of dragon eggs thereafter.
November 10, 2024 at 5:46 PM
So, dragon fruit. I realized at the grocery store I've never had one. Hope there is no trick to eating this. And that I will not be incubating a clutch of dragon eggs thereafter.
I suppose it's a sure sign that I am an adult now, that I am happy the grocery store has a salad bar, where I can add unusual things like green onions and blue cheese to a finely diced salad.
In my youth I shared the same aversion for (leafy) green things as did Superman.
In my youth I shared the same aversion for (leafy) green things as did Superman.
November 10, 2024 at 4:10 PM
I suppose it's a sure sign that I am an adult now, that I am happy the grocery store has a salad bar, where I can add unusual things like green onions and blue cheese to a finely diced salad.
In my youth I shared the same aversion for (leafy) green things as did Superman.
In my youth I shared the same aversion for (leafy) green things as did Superman.