Get a DNA test, you might be part Scottish

Check under your floorboards, she might already be there.

Woah hold on, what's going on?

Excellent choice, my personal favorite is Krusty Krab Training Video

Sentences that could kill a Victorian orphan

Optimus Crime

Some small baseball team where I live called the Dodgers won a local tournament recently, not too shabby

Frankly I'd advise keeping just one account, and put a warning on your bio advising people that may wish to follow you that you intend to put some unhinged degenerate content out

Show me what you got

There's a law where the general mood of the fandom is inversely proportional to the mood of the media. For example, MLP and Steven Universe fans are some of the most vitriolic and unpleasant people you'll meet, while LotR and 40k fans are the most unserious and silly you'll encounter

What is PILK

Blue raspberry

*le gasp*
What treachery is this, Knitty

The sound designers take their jobs very seriously, otherwise they'd have nothing else

Did you try sticking a lightning rod to it? I guarantee it'll get that thing charged in a hurry

I have taught you well in the art of shoplifting