And that’s what we have Leon Kennedy for

Meanwhile a company that sells pork products can be called The Jolly Hog, and if that's not a misleading name for a business built around the slaughtering a chopping up of pigs, I don't know what is.

Gods, I love Gale so much.

They should start weird lies about Farage in the way that the right do about their opponents. I'll start:

Nigel Farage can only get sexually aroused by tossing off dogs in the back of a chip shop. That's why he wanted to become MP for Clacton, because of its wealth of chippies.

“You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing the American flag and carrying a big old bit of wood”

Note I say “on top form” not a “return to form” as I don’t think Khruangbin have ever put out a bad record. I hope they tour this one in the UK

I need him to analyse ring gear. Talk about which colour combinations are most flattering for one’s trunks in a formal setting such as, say, powerbombing one’s way to a world championship.

The old one was Jeremy Allen Shite, but now it looks Jeremy Allen Alright.

He’s hiding documents about him fucking kids, Dean.

Could we not move him to the gallows instead?

Can’t find it in the UK! Will have to put in a request at my local indy bookshop

I sing the sexy getting ready song to myself most days when I’m getting dressed for work. Body rolls are still really hard.

Are we gonna spank the Telegraph’s bare butt, balls and back?

Shout out to the social worker for wearing a badge that (sort of) says social worker on it so the Ray Winstone-looking guy can tell who she is.