yes i will live in the uhaul favela, yes i will eat the bugs

someone write this down on a rock for the people of the future

1. Create an artificial problem
2. Sell the solution
3. ...
4. profit!

no, far worse

What happens if you want to be forcefemmed but you *can* build furniture?

you have to unsubscribe from the "add more lint" package

There are 300 million people in the country. I'm sure we'll have no problem filling all the vacant congressional seats

no, the correct gender-neutral form would be "am I a good little slut?"

YOU TOLD ME I'D DIE IN A WATER WAR WITH THE COUNTY OF NORTH NORFOLK BEFORE I REACH MY MID THIRTIES AND IVE STRUCTURED MY WHOLE LIFE AROUND THAT FACT. NOW YOURE TELLING ME THAT WAS STUPID??

I'm gonna start putting on my resumé "was taught how to read using phonics, and can do long division without a reference"

literally. it's infuriating to know this is how the rest of the world processes information and yet i have to work in the trenches of customer service.

half of the teenagers we hire don't even know what the words "quarter/dime/nickel" mean

Absolutely. I grew up on 8-bit Pokemon. I'm starting to form an opinion that all children should be playing RPGs as a mandatory practice