@babyhandsocks.bsky.social
If I had a podcast on macroeconomics I would call it ChatGDP
December 8, 2025 at 1:19 PM
If I had a podcast on macroeconomics I would call it ChatGDP
You just know a professor is smart if they’ve only got the one outfit
September 11, 2025 at 8:27 PM
You just know a professor is smart if they’ve only got the one outfit
Bitches are bitter because my Fruit Ninja score is better
September 8, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Bitches are bitter because my Fruit Ninja score is better
Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are ya?
August 28, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are ya?
Vacuuming and accidentally pulling the cord out of the outlet and hearing it take its last breath is so surreal. It makes me feel like some sicko murderer.
#PutMeInTheBrig
#PutMeInTheBrig
August 27, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Vacuuming and accidentally pulling the cord out of the outlet and hearing it take its last breath is so surreal. It makes me feel like some sicko murderer.
#PutMeInTheBrig
#PutMeInTheBrig
Every year I think “I have met the grossest person I will ever meet. There can’t be anyone more gross.”
Every year I am proven wrong.
Every year I am proven wrong.
August 26, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Every year I think “I have met the grossest person I will ever meet. There can’t be anyone more gross.”
Every year I am proven wrong.
Every year I am proven wrong.
Getting in touch with nature by walking on the small patch of grass in the large and poorly maintained parking lot
August 26, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Getting in touch with nature by walking on the small patch of grass in the large and poorly maintained parking lot
Got caught on my college campus between animal control and a rogue deer. Felt very grateful that deer have not yet evolved to take hostages.
August 3, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Got caught on my college campus between animal control and a rogue deer. Felt very grateful that deer have not yet evolved to take hostages.
Female teachers are always either pregnant or have a broken foot.
Male teachers are always either divorced or pedophiles.
Male teachers are always either divorced or pedophiles.
July 24, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Female teachers are always either pregnant or have a broken foot.
Male teachers are always either divorced or pedophiles.
Male teachers are always either divorced or pedophiles.
My blood cells are clotting on my downfall
July 9, 2025 at 2:48 PM
My blood cells are clotting on my downfall
You ever meet someone who has the same scent as a non denominational church building?
July 1, 2025 at 8:38 PM
You ever meet someone who has the same scent as a non denominational church building?
While I appreciate the diligent reporting from major news outlets on the Diddy case, I wish they would stop making all the anchors say “Freak Offs” in their news voices every single day
May 25, 2025 at 10:38 AM
While I appreciate the diligent reporting from major news outlets on the Diddy case, I wish they would stop making all the anchors say “Freak Offs” in their news voices every single day
Just bought my fursuit for Zootopia 2, gonna scare the shit out of those kids in the theater
May 20, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Just bought my fursuit for Zootopia 2, gonna scare the shit out of those kids in the theater
My foot slipped off the brake and now me and my Toyota Corolla are in the second story of the Clerk of Courts building
May 14, 2025 at 7:06 AM
My foot slipped off the brake and now me and my Toyota Corolla are in the second story of the Clerk of Courts building
The US Dollar is no longer reliable. I have converted all my savings to Kohls Cash.
May 13, 2025 at 10:59 AM
The US Dollar is no longer reliable. I have converted all my savings to Kohls Cash.
The pope being American has completely ruined my pope party for this weekend - I have so many Italian themed decorations to exchange for Bald Eagle shirts and firecrackers now
May 9, 2025 at 11:06 AM
The pope being American has completely ruined my pope party for this weekend - I have so many Italian themed decorations to exchange for Bald Eagle shirts and firecrackers now
One thing about the Mystery Gang is they are gonna find any excuse to put Scooby in full drag, even in cases where it might actually damage their cause
May 9, 2025 at 11:03 AM
One thing about the Mystery Gang is they are gonna find any excuse to put Scooby in full drag, even in cases where it might actually damage their cause
Why is all men’s office-wear DriFit? What is it about sitting in your ergonomic chair that is making you SO sweaty???
March 11, 2025 at 11:06 AM
Why is all men’s office-wear DriFit? What is it about sitting in your ergonomic chair that is making you SO sweaty???
Just hit a pothole so insidious I got a nosebleed
March 11, 2025 at 11:03 AM
Just hit a pothole so insidious I got a nosebleed
These mfs are achieving levels of bad driving previously unbeknownst to society
March 4, 2025 at 12:03 PM
These mfs are achieving levels of bad driving previously unbeknownst to society
Born to get the flu. Forced to go to the bathroom and subsequently wash my hands 25 times a day.
February 22, 2025 at 4:25 AM
Born to get the flu. Forced to go to the bathroom and subsequently wash my hands 25 times a day.
The woman's equivalent of finding ten bucks in an old coat is opening up an old wallet and four tampons falling out
January 24, 2025 at 10:32 PM
The woman's equivalent of finding ten bucks in an old coat is opening up an old wallet and four tampons falling out
Just realized I’ve been putting in my social security number, instead of my student ID number, into the class attendance form all semester.
Do I take the zeros or let my physics professor steal my identity?
Do I take the zeros or let my physics professor steal my identity?
January 23, 2025 at 12:53 AM
Just realized I’ve been putting in my social security number, instead of my student ID number, into the class attendance form all semester.
Do I take the zeros or let my physics professor steal my identity?
Do I take the zeros or let my physics professor steal my identity?
If you work in an open office and I can hear you scraping at glass Tupperware with your fork for 15 minutes, it is well within my rights to perform a mildly violent citizens arrest
January 21, 2025 at 6:05 PM
If you work in an open office and I can hear you scraping at glass Tupperware with your fork for 15 minutes, it is well within my rights to perform a mildly violent citizens arrest
Tiny men who sneeze with the power of a thousand suns MUST be stopped before they bring down this great nation
January 21, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Tiny men who sneeze with the power of a thousand suns MUST be stopped before they bring down this great nation