I've watched Jake Paul get his clock cleaned more times than is probably healthy for me.

I could be talked into that. A Walk in The Clouds did him no favors either. But Bill & Ted? Speed? Point Break? Matrix. Nobody could play those roles better than

Keanu is perfect for roles where he can be Keanu (see e.g. Point Break) and is miscast where he has to be someone else (see e.g. Dracula).

Soooooooo predictable.

Oh man. That means you never had one. Mall staple.

One of the dudes at my BJJ gym keeps promising to bring an Enigma and a blue gun to roll around in.

Rereading it, I guess I also stole "because it looks bitchen" from you.

You wrote that about Jesse James' rifles a long time ago and I've stolen and used it a million times since.