Sitting on the floor crying looking at my phone while my bestie tries to tell me it's all fake and nobody in real life has the stamina to break that many femboys' bodies in under an hour.

I want to watch him turn around slowly in shock and pain and let a smile creep over my face while the score changes to a sinister faster tempo orchestral reprise of my theme.

I want to effortlessly catch and arrest the same wild haymaker I pretended to be accidentally knocked down by when we first met, and throw him to the ground with barely a flex as my clothes burn away to reveal my gayer eviller outfit.

It's every woman's right to suddenly develop burning eyes and hover five feet off the ground above some idiot boy's prostrate form while she mocks him for missing all the obvious clues to her treacherous deception that he then proceeds to remember in soft-focus flashbacks.

It's important for you guys to understand when I say I want to be a "baddie" I'm not just talking about having messy relationships and a fat ass.

Your girl's so vanilla she thinks sanity checks in bdsm are about making sure you're not being antisemitic.