I’m gonna end it all, actually

please be better my god

ew why is the compression so bad oh god oh no

And Merry Christmas!!!

who says Christmas surprises are just for kids! You got this Roger — you’ll be fine, I’m sure 🩷

and to all a good night 🎄✨

speaking of hotels, we may be not-quite-home but the Christmas Eve traditions continue unharmed

me when I lie

well shit I guess I gotta get a real job 🥰

I fear I don’t remember posting this but I’m glad that my first reaction after waking up in agony was to complain about it to a bunch of strangers on the internet lol

Anyway, a few hours tomorrow, then an overnight stay for a night the next day (bc I have to be on IV for 24 hours 😵‍💫) and then another few hours the day after that. And then 21 days rest which should be nice but only makes me scared for how fkn sick it’s gonna make me. 21 days? my last round I had 13

but god how I wish I could go back to being more interesting and multifaceted than just being Aya With Cancer. I am so fkn sick of thinking about it

The random fevers, the tiredness, the night sweats, the itching… my GOD the itching… all of which is stressing me out too, because doesn’t that mean I’m like properly sick, back to square one? idk. I don’t know what the point of saying any of this is except to just say it. lol.

Like sure the space race is a kind of golden era of scientific advancement for us a species but it’s rooted in a pissing contest