The Awkward Arcana, Jonana Banana
@awkwardarcana.bsky.social
That woo-woo weirdo who wishes you the best
(Speaking of "depths of delusion", what tf do you think dwells in the deep? Things lurk down there that will chew you up, shit you out, and warp your perception until you happily cosign your own destruction. You can't see the danger you're in or the danger that you could be to yourself and others.)
November 11, 2023 at 4:36 PM
(Speaking of "depths of delusion", what tf do you think dwells in the deep? Things lurk down there that will chew you up, shit you out, and warp your perception until you happily cosign your own destruction. You can't see the danger you're in or the danger that you could be to yourself and others.)
12H OF UNDOING AND HIDDEN ENEMIES ALL UP IN HERE! Okay, so we all know Pisces gets a lot of shit about being whiny, emotional, even delulu and we all laugh about it haha…no. There are depths of delusion that Pisces can slip into like fucking vapor (mutable water).
November 11, 2023 at 4:32 PM
12H OF UNDOING AND HIDDEN ENEMIES ALL UP IN HERE! Okay, so we all know Pisces gets a lot of shit about being whiny, emotional, even delulu and we all laugh about it haha…no. There are depths of delusion that Pisces can slip into like fucking vapor (mutable water).
This can't be hers, right? Of course not…just like that's not her standing in the road, or chasing her down the street, or mugging her for her keys. It's not…she knows it's not, even when the van drives over her on the way to her own house.
November 11, 2023 at 4:31 PM
This can't be hers, right? Of course not…just like that's not her standing in the road, or chasing her down the street, or mugging her for her keys. It's not…she knows it's not, even when the van drives over her on the way to her own house.
Wait…what happened to the announcer's voice? Where is the music? Why are the colors getting dull? Wait, where are the kids? The sounds of the commercial fall away as static drones in our ears…and as the woman's cell phone rings, we spot the yellow sweater in the road before she slams on the brakes.
November 11, 2023 at 4:30 PM
Wait…what happened to the announcer's voice? Where is the music? Why are the colors getting dull? Wait, where are the kids? The sounds of the commercial fall away as static drones in our ears…and as the woman's cell phone rings, we spot the yellow sweater in the road before she slams on the brakes.
Pisces: Unedited Footage of a Bear
Nothing to see here, just footage of a bear! Damn that's one fluffy mofo. Cut to a short commercial break for some prescription medication. A single mom in a yellow sweater touts how she's taking back her life with Clairadryl and drives off happily in her minivan…
Nothing to see here, just footage of a bear! Damn that's one fluffy mofo. Cut to a short commercial break for some prescription medication. A single mom in a yellow sweater touts how she's taking back her life with Clairadryl and drives off happily in her minivan…
November 11, 2023 at 4:27 PM
Pisces: Unedited Footage of a Bear
Nothing to see here, just footage of a bear! Damn that's one fluffy mofo. Cut to a short commercial break for some prescription medication. A single mom in a yellow sweater touts how she's taking back her life with Clairadryl and drives off happily in her minivan…
Nothing to see here, just footage of a bear! Damn that's one fluffy mofo. Cut to a short commercial break for some prescription medication. A single mom in a yellow sweater touts how she's taking back her life with Clairadryl and drives off happily in her minivan…
(I mean, have you met Aquarius? Whether you go by the traditional ruler (Saturn) or modern ruler (Uranus), what you are facing is something so firmly stuck that everything around it is forced to change instead. The horror in the truth, and The Iris, is its indifference to anything lesser.)
November 10, 2023 at 12:41 AM
(I mean, have you met Aquarius? Whether you go by the traditional ruler (Saturn) or modern ruler (Uranus), what you are facing is something so firmly stuck that everything around it is forced to change instead. The horror in the truth, and The Iris, is its indifference to anything lesser.)
(AAAAA THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE AAAA. Chosen specifically because of the "vessel" terminology and Aquarius being the Water Bearer. Being fixed air, we are no longer working with thoughts (mutable air) or ideals (cardinal air)…we are dealing with truths. But the truth is often stranger than fiction…)
November 10, 2023 at 12:40 AM
(AAAAA THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE AAAA. Chosen specifically because of the "vessel" terminology and Aquarius being the Water Bearer. Being fixed air, we are no longer working with thoughts (mutable air) or ideals (cardinal air)…we are dealing with truths. But the truth is often stranger than fiction…)
First contact was made, beginning an uneasy truce…at the cost of sacrificing unwitting campers to become vessels of The Iris. Robbed of their flesh and bone, the victims' husks remain conscious, unmoving…watching helplessly as the things that wear their skin distort and transform all they touch.
November 10, 2023 at 12:37 AM
First contact was made, beginning an uneasy truce…at the cost of sacrificing unwitting campers to become vessels of The Iris. Robbed of their flesh and bone, the victims' husks remain conscious, unmoving…watching helplessly as the things that wear their skin distort and transform all they touch.
Aquarius: Gemini Home Entertainment
Not a Gemini, definitely not home, and qualifies more as "terrifying" than "entertainment". In the cold of space, The Iris looks upon humanity. Beneath its gaze, Neptune is "mutated", Jupiter's great red spot becomes an open wound...
Not a Gemini, definitely not home, and qualifies more as "terrifying" than "entertainment". In the cold of space, The Iris looks upon humanity. Beneath its gaze, Neptune is "mutated", Jupiter's great red spot becomes an open wound...
November 10, 2023 at 12:35 AM
Aquarius: Gemini Home Entertainment
Not a Gemini, definitely not home, and qualifies more as "terrifying" than "entertainment". In the cold of space, The Iris looks upon humanity. Beneath its gaze, Neptune is "mutated", Jupiter's great red spot becomes an open wound...
Not a Gemini, definitely not home, and qualifies more as "terrifying" than "entertainment". In the cold of space, The Iris looks upon humanity. Beneath its gaze, Neptune is "mutated", Jupiter's great red spot becomes an open wound...
(If might makes right, then I am king. Unchecked power is monstrous, why else would Capricorn be associated with The Devil card in tarot? Power in the public image is merely the capstone (cardinal earth) to the dominion of much larger beasts who would sooner break your knees than bend theirs.)
November 9, 2023 at 8:17 PM
(If might makes right, then I am king. Unchecked power is monstrous, why else would Capricorn be associated with The Devil card in tarot? Power in the public image is merely the capstone (cardinal earth) to the dominion of much larger beasts who would sooner break your knees than bend theirs.)
James Dean wins the presidency against Richard Nixon. The national monuments all over the United Zones serve not as symbols but sentient threats to the people, armed to their stony teeth with weapons that cut through locations instead of matter. You can't hurt a stone…nor can you draw mercy from it.
November 9, 2023 at 8:15 PM
James Dean wins the presidency against Richard Nixon. The national monuments all over the United Zones serve not as symbols but sentient threats to the people, armed to their stony teeth with weapons that cut through locations instead of matter. You can't hurt a stone…nor can you draw mercy from it.
Capricorn: The Monument Mythos
AU of the United States in which the Statue of Liberty pedestal is used as a prison cell for a massive creature referred to as the Libertylurker. Ellis Island doubles as both an entryway for immigrants and a charnel house for their unlucky brethren fed to the beast.
AU of the United States in which the Statue of Liberty pedestal is used as a prison cell for a massive creature referred to as the Libertylurker. Ellis Island doubles as both an entryway for immigrants and a charnel house for their unlucky brethren fed to the beast.
November 9, 2023 at 8:12 PM
Capricorn: The Monument Mythos
AU of the United States in which the Statue of Liberty pedestal is used as a prison cell for a massive creature referred to as the Libertylurker. Ellis Island doubles as both an entryway for immigrants and a charnel house for their unlucky brethren fed to the beast.
AU of the United States in which the Statue of Liberty pedestal is used as a prison cell for a massive creature referred to as the Libertylurker. Ellis Island doubles as both an entryway for immigrants and a charnel house for their unlucky brethren fed to the beast.
(Hedonism beyond bounds. Quite often, Sag ends up pushing someone else's limits for fun. The mutable fire of ever changing and ever more vast experiences, and the heady arrogance that you'd have to have if you thought you could play with everyone and everything as you please.)
November 9, 2023 at 8:11 PM
(Hedonism beyond bounds. Quite often, Sag ends up pushing someone else's limits for fun. The mutable fire of ever changing and ever more vast experiences, and the heady arrogance that you'd have to have if you thought you could play with everyone and everything as you please.)
...that were far exceeding the capacity of the jank ass structural supports til it had the world's biggest gag reflex. The visitors end up trapped, the creature's immune system starts flipping shit, and FEMA shits a brick as the land literally corrodes under their feet.
November 9, 2023 at 8:06 PM
...that were far exceeding the capacity of the jank ass structural supports til it had the world's biggest gag reflex. The visitors end up trapped, the creature's immune system starts flipping shit, and FEMA shits a brick as the land literally corrodes under their feet.
Oil baron McFuckhead digs for oil, finds that thing, and is like "nyehhh, let's turn it into entertainment!", presumably while twirling his mustache. Sagittarians were like "he'll yeah, bröthər!", did a backflip into its slimy ass maw, and threw parties in there...
November 9, 2023 at 8:05 PM
Oil baron McFuckhead digs for oil, finds that thing, and is like "nyehhh, let's turn it into entertainment!", presumably while twirling his mustache. Sagittarians were like "he'll yeah, bröthər!", did a backflip into its slimy ass maw, and threw parties in there...
Sagittarius: Mystery Flesh Pit National Park
Some fucker said "if there's a hole, there's a goal" and meant that shit with their entire chest. Behold! A literal giant ass creature, hundreds of miles across, is TAKING A NAP under Texas.
Some fucker said "if there's a hole, there's a goal" and meant that shit with their entire chest. Behold! A literal giant ass creature, hundreds of miles across, is TAKING A NAP under Texas.
November 9, 2023 at 8:03 PM
Sagittarius: Mystery Flesh Pit National Park
Some fucker said "if there's a hole, there's a goal" and meant that shit with their entire chest. Behold! A literal giant ass creature, hundreds of miles across, is TAKING A NAP under Texas.
Some fucker said "if there's a hole, there's a goal" and meant that shit with their entire chest. Behold! A literal giant ass creature, hundreds of miles across, is TAKING A NAP under Texas.
(The sheer PARANOIA that seeps into this series is what made me pick it for Scorpio. Lots of 8th house themes in this one: death, fear, transformation, the occult, secrets, power dynamics. Scorpio embodies a "Chthonian Principle" related to immensely vast depths few dare to understand.)
November 9, 2023 at 8:01 PM
(The sheer PARANOIA that seeps into this series is what made me pick it for Scorpio. Lots of 8th house themes in this one: death, fear, transformation, the occult, secrets, power dynamics. Scorpio embodies a "Chthonian Principle" related to immensely vast depths few dare to understand.)
You break your mirrors, destroy your screens. You go to church. It's there. It never left. Its sermon is terror. Did it begin there? How long since this foul thing usurped the place of another? How many millenia did this thing wear the skin of a god and the tongue of a serpent?
November 9, 2023 at 7:54 PM
You break your mirrors, destroy your screens. You go to church. It's there. It never left. Its sermon is terror. Did it begin there? How long since this foul thing usurped the place of another? How many millenia did this thing wear the skin of a god and the tongue of a serpent?
Scorpio: The Mandela Catalogue
In every screen and mirror, there is a threat. They look like you, sound like you, but move in the spaces between. You hear them whisper beneath the door, giggle at you, mock your efforts to sleep with sounds that human lips can't make.
In every screen and mirror, there is a threat. They look like you, sound like you, but move in the spaces between. You hear them whisper beneath the door, giggle at you, mock your efforts to sleep with sounds that human lips can't make.
November 9, 2023 at 7:54 PM
Scorpio: The Mandela Catalogue
In every screen and mirror, there is a threat. They look like you, sound like you, but move in the spaces between. You hear them whisper beneath the door, giggle at you, mock your efforts to sleep with sounds that human lips can't make.
In every screen and mirror, there is a threat. They look like you, sound like you, but move in the spaces between. You hear them whisper beneath the door, giggle at you, mock your efforts to sleep with sounds that human lips can't make.
(Libra rules relationships, contracts…and Thalasin? Opposite the self is the other and to bridge the gap between Libra sells a facsimile of what they think the other feels, an idealization of an emotion. You can't apply an ideal (cardinal air) to an emotion. It is not self, not other, just wrong.)
November 9, 2023 at 7:52 PM
(Libra rules relationships, contracts…and Thalasin? Opposite the self is the other and to bridge the gap between Libra sells a facsimile of what they think the other feels, an idealization of an emotion. You can't apply an ideal (cardinal air) to an emotion. It is not self, not other, just wrong.)
Fill yourself with the emotions and terror of the void, become the mirror it uses to look upon itself vainly, and shatter in the wake of its inconceivable visage!
November 9, 2023 at 7:46 PM
Fill yourself with the emotions and terror of the void, become the mirror it uses to look upon itself vainly, and shatter in the wake of its inconceivable visage!
Libra: BLUE_CHANNEL: THALASIN
Ready to feel joy, sorrow, fear, and lust over the counter? Would that cheapen it somewhat? Would the world care? Irrelevant, cause cause now Thalasin Plus™️ is available! Feel emotions that humans were never supposed to be able to comprehend!
Ready to feel joy, sorrow, fear, and lust over the counter? Would that cheapen it somewhat? Would the world care? Irrelevant, cause cause now Thalasin Plus™️ is available! Feel emotions that humans were never supposed to be able to comprehend!
November 9, 2023 at 7:43 PM
Libra: BLUE_CHANNEL: THALASIN
Ready to feel joy, sorrow, fear, and lust over the counter? Would that cheapen it somewhat? Would the world care? Irrelevant, cause cause now Thalasin Plus™️ is available! Feel emotions that humans were never supposed to be able to comprehend!
Ready to feel joy, sorrow, fear, and lust over the counter? Would that cheapen it somewhat? Would the world care? Irrelevant, cause cause now Thalasin Plus™️ is available! Feel emotions that humans were never supposed to be able to comprehend!
(I have never met a Virgo who didn't have a plan A through Z, with various backup contingencies. But you can't beat the boogeyman with bureaucracy, and in the various canons of SCP Foundation tales it's made painfully clear that even the most thorough plans fall apart in the wake of cosmic threats.)
November 9, 2023 at 7:33 PM
(I have never met a Virgo who didn't have a plan A through Z, with various backup contingencies. But you can't beat the boogeyman with bureaucracy, and in the various canons of SCP Foundation tales it's made painfully clear that even the most thorough plans fall apart in the wake of cosmic threats.)
Virgo: SCP tales
Yes, SCP Foundation objects/tales/canon aren't analog horror but w/e. There is a wiki…with thousands of articles…all describing and recording in painstaking detail, the containment of weird ass things. Why? To "maintain normalcy". If that ain't some Virgo shit, idk what is.
Yes, SCP Foundation objects/tales/canon aren't analog horror but w/e. There is a wiki…with thousands of articles…all describing and recording in painstaking detail, the containment of weird ass things. Why? To "maintain normalcy". If that ain't some Virgo shit, idk what is.
November 9, 2023 at 7:31 PM
Virgo: SCP tales
Yes, SCP Foundation objects/tales/canon aren't analog horror but w/e. There is a wiki…with thousands of articles…all describing and recording in painstaking detail, the containment of weird ass things. Why? To "maintain normalcy". If that ain't some Virgo shit, idk what is.
Yes, SCP Foundation objects/tales/canon aren't analog horror but w/e. There is a wiki…with thousands of articles…all describing and recording in painstaking detail, the containment of weird ass things. Why? To "maintain normalcy". If that ain't some Virgo shit, idk what is.
(Even if the sun vanished, there'd be a Leo stepping on stage to take its place, ha ha yes, very funny. But leave it to a Leo to shine a light on the drama that stays hidden, for all the world to see.)
November 9, 2023 at 7:27 PM
(Even if the sun vanished, there'd be a Leo stepping on stage to take its place, ha ha yes, very funny. But leave it to a Leo to shine a light on the drama that stays hidden, for all the world to see.)