I genuinely am trying to improve, and to at least forgive myself, but I'm scared im just being performative with all of this.

I dont where to go right now, those places to "move on", the places I can be the person others wanted me to be.

But that desire got overblown, and I ended up making having people needing to give up on me for taking their second chances and doing away with them selfishly.

I don't want to casted away again and I don't wallow away in isolation. I regret how I handled things.

Even if I move on, I don't want to hurt people this way again and I at least want others to be aware on where I was before.

All this regret on what ive done has just dictated me into being miserable, and I don't want to end up lashing out to the point of more cutting off.

With all the mistakes I've done, I want to rework myself. Someone that is aware of what they did and is accountable.

Trying to be a bit more active here at the least... actually if you read this... share any ideas of art you want to see from me idk

I was trying for the backroom of one, but there wasn't any good images for one... so had to do with the front of one.

It's been just a cycle of shame for me, whether just feeling like I just vent too much with this account more than share porn, but I really want to know I can make myself feel less like just some loser being inane over what they like and be more... "normal"

I get embarrassed about my earlier works, because I want to be someone who shares, I don't know how to word it, "grounded" stuff? More carnal? I don't want be looked at weird because of my more simple style or whatever.