Avery Rhymes-with-slow-churn
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averycockburn.bsky.social
Avery Rhymes-with-slow-churn
@averycockburn.bsky.social
290 followers 190 following 190 posts
Easily amused. Writes books. Loves sentence fragments. She/her
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averycockburn.bsky.social
🥳 It's here! The slightly unhinged book that ended up twice as long as planned but somehow still got finished, the charmingly messy book that made these last few months not only survivable but joyful. 🎄

I hope it brings a much-needed smile or laugh to you, too!

geni.us/ChristmasCurse
Image: Book cover of The Christmas Curse by Avery Cockburn. Background Image: Snowy forest with two white men in their 30s shown shoulders up. One has short reddish hair and beard and is smiling toward the other man, who has dark stubble and is wearing a slouchy beanie Foreground image: fluffy Bernese Mountain Dog with black, brown, and white fur sitting facing forward looking happy. Text: “Iced in”, “City boy/country boy”, “Low Angst”, and “Two Nations Divided by a Common Language”.
December 10, 2024 at 8:06 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
🚨NEW BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT❄️

The Christmas Curse comes out December 10! It's been a huge sanity saver to write, and I hope it'll bring a little light into your life too. 🕯

A humorous, heartwarming tale about luck, kindness, and the way a single day can change an entire life. 💙
geni.us/ChristmasCurse
Text: Preorder now! Image: Book cover of The Christmas Curse by Avery Cockburn. Background Image: Snowy forest with two white men in their 30s shown shoulders up. One has short reddish hair and beard and is smiling toward the other man, who has dark stubble and is wearing a slouchy beanie Foreground image: fluffy Bernese Mountain Dog with black, brown, and white fur sitting facing forward looking happy.
December 2, 2024 at 3:54 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
It was always Walz
Kamala Harris holding up a vinyl record of Prince’s Purple Rain. She is standing outside a city record shop
August 6, 2024 at 10:13 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
IT HAPPENED
Governor Tim Walz of MN laughing as he’s mobbed and hugged by dozens of happy children during a bill signing
August 6, 2024 at 1:10 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
Reskeet with a tweet you still think about
Screenshot of tweet by then-Senator Kelly Loeffler: “Generic tweet for after the debate: Couldn’t be prouder to have Mike Pence as America’s Vice president. Thank you for standing for freedom. Flag emoji
July 5, 2024 at 10:37 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
Quote tweet and name a movie or TV show that would have become a source of memes if it had happened in the right era.

Soap.
Text: “SOAP” Image: Large family gathered on and around a sofa chaotically trying to pose for a picture
June 20, 2024 at 1:37 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
That novel I started in 2021 based on an idea from 2004 is here! Like most of my books, it has a strong sense of place and time, including times that sucked (hello Jan 6!). But it’s universal as well, because who doesn’t dream of turning regret into hope?

Kindle (incl KU)/paperback: geni.us/Cicadas
Text: "One Day in 1987...One Night in 2004...One Love to Last a Lifetime." plus tropes: "Third Chances, Meant to Be, Love Across Time, Older MCs" Image: Book cover of Cicadas: A Totally Ordinary Epic Love Story by Avery Cockburn. Illustrated cover features a winding road from top to bottom. At the top, a man is walking with a bag over his shoulder, and at the bottom a man is sitting on a bench listening to music on headphones. Along the road is a pink boom box and a pink Discman with headphones. A cicada with a pink heart flutters beneath the title
June 20, 2024 at 1:28 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
It's the FINAL (bit of) COUNTDOWN! *Gob Bluth flourish*

Enter to win an AUTOGRAPHED PAPERBACK by signing up for my newsletter subscribe.averycockburn.com
(which also gets you a free copy of the Glasgow Lads prequel novella, Play On). Drawing tomorrow.

Last day to say "Preorder":
geni.us/Cicadas
Text: "All of their Thens had paved the long, twisty, potholed highway to Now." and "1 day till release!" Image: Book cover of Cicadas: A Totally Ordinary Epic Love Story by Avery Cockburn. Illustrated cover features a winding road from top to bottom. At the top, a man is walking with a bag over his shoulder, and at the bottom a man is sitting on a bench listening to music on headphones. Along the road is a pink boom box and a pink Discman with headphones. A cicada with a pink heart flutters beneath the title
June 19, 2024 at 2:54 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
LFG Scotland!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💙⚽️
Silhouette of Duke of Wellington statue in Glasgow. Blue sky and Victorian building in background. the duke's horse is wearing a traffic cone, as per usual.
June 14, 2024 at 7:09 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
In a mind-blowing development, I will have a new book out a week from today! CICADAS: A TOTALLY ORDINARY EPIC LOVE STORY is a whimsical, era-hopping tale of a love that transcends time, space, and a trillion bug-eyed troubadours.

geni.us/Cicadas
Text: "Preorder NOW!" Book cover of Cicadas: A Totally Ordinary Epic Love Story by Avery Cockburn. Illustrated cover features a winding road from top to bottom. At the top, a man is walking with a bag over his shoulder, and at the bottom a man is sitting on a bench listening to music on headphones. Along the road is a pink boom box and a pink Discman with headphones. A cicada with a pink heart flutters beneath the title
June 13, 2024 at 7:11 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
That first sentence should be framed and gifted to anyone, including foreign leaders, he has ever spoken to or ever will speak to
Screen shot of NY Times live blog post by Maggie Haberman: “Trump has always treated his own words as if they’re a completely disposable commodity. That is not how it works in a courtroom.“
April 23, 2024 at 2:52 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
Love when my mom refers to my writing as TYPING like I'm in some 1940s rom-com
Movie poster for Take a Letter, Darling with Rosalind Russell and Fred MacMurray. Features a drawing of a man in a business suit scribbling on a steno pad while a confident-looking woman wearing a red suit-dress looks over his shoulder. Other text includes supporting cast Macdonald Carey, Robert Benchley, Constance Moore
September 1, 2023 at 10:58 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
It never stops.

#Author #WritingCommunity
Text: Plot Bunny Attack in Three Acts: 1. Suppress urge to write xmas story. 2. Congratulate self on restraint. 3. "Hmm, Leap Day is coming..." Background image: two rows of cartoon bunnies that look like Peeps
September 1, 2023 at 5:37 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
In the 70s this great nation was haunted by Baby Side-Eye but no one talks about it now
Gerber Baby doll in box with transparent cover. Doll is deathly pale with stiff red hair and wearing a white dress with gingham sleeves. Her dark, soulless eyes are fixed in a permanent side-eye
August 24, 2023 at 10:34 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
Devastated to report that this exists
Seen through museum glass: a box standing on end that reads "Archie Bunker's Grandson Joey Stivic". In front of the box lies a blond baby doll on its back, vacant blue eyes staring into nothingness. The box shows an improbable photo of Archie Bunker, a cranky old white guy known for his reactionary and bigoted remarks, smiling at the baby in his arms.
August 22, 2023 at 7:39 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
A good time for this important safety tip
Image of microwave popcorn bag with “Do not use popcorn button” circled in red
August 14, 2023 at 9:49 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
In honor of Gary Larson's birthday, please share a Far Side that you love.
Far Side cartoon showing an anthropomorphized spoon and knife playing cars in an urban apartment while a fork plays piano. Text: "In the early days, living in their squalid apartment, all three shared dreams of success. In the end, however, Bob the Spoon and Ernie the Fork wound up in an old silverware drawer, and only Mack went on to fame and fortune.
August 14, 2023 at 7:16 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
this is my getaway vehicle
Drawing of white unicorn with sky-blue mane and tail riding a lavender unicycle, leaving a trail of gold stars
August 3, 2023 at 10:30 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
Browsing some idioms in the Oxford Dictionary when I came across this bit of darkness
Screenshot of dictionary entry with a sentence encircled: "Bill had died with his boots on, caught by suction in a waste pipe."
July 30, 2023 at 2:05 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
Show me a pic on your phone that has your energy but isn't a selfie
Fledgling crow on a flat wooden railing facing right. It's raising its not-ready-for-prime-time wings preparing to take off. The look on its face is one of delusional determination
July 25, 2023 at 7:30 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
Twinkle is 98% anti-photogenic so in a way any good picture of her is a work of art. Hope your bf and the handsome cat he is privileged to serve are seeing better times soon!
Close-up of tuxedo cat's face. Her wide yellow eyes and pricked-up ears sense that something, somewhere, is afoot.
July 25, 2023 at 7:13 PM
averycockburn.bsky.social
Time for a -heimer with holiday spirit, just in time for Christmas in July.

A Christmas Harbor is a sweet, sexy, funny story featuring a guy who's spent most of his naval career on ballistic subs, ready to vaporize the world at a moment's notice. Happy ending though!
https://geni.us/ChristmasHarbor
Text: "Harborheimer July 2023" Image 1: Book cover of A Christmas Harbor A M/M Romance Novella by "Avery Cockburn". Cover includes image Smiling white man in his 30s with dark curly mop of hair and facial hair halfway between stubble and a beard. Background image on cover: Calm waters. Cover Elements: Multicolored Christmas lights and a nautical star/compass. Background image: Fiery mushroom cloud above ocean horizon
July 24, 2023 at 8:35 PM