looking through this entire little journal page i’m keeping. GIRL kilo has been all over this thing since i made it. how do i not see this while it’s happening. being a system is CRAZY

sitting on this for a second. she’s been lonely huh …

they’re brothers

kilo you know i love you more than anything, right? fuck em all

bad news folks! nonhuman chaos animal god receives a human emotion and wants to burn everything down because of it!

final thought: maybe i should talk to my regular therapist about seeking out a DID specialist LOL

when i say this. i mean she just, is still incredibly mad and hurt. she still wants him so bad, i think she still loves him. i think she really hasn’t moved on. she collapsed on herself after the break up

my inherent response as the host, is to want to push that shit back down and deal with it later.

you think you have your shit figured out and then something like kilo pops up and suddenly well actually i haven’t moved on at all huh

waahhhh this means a lot to me, thank you 💖

i realized i only ever tried coming back, putting myself out there with art and fandoms because im talking to him again. so im not scared anymore. that’s FUCKED

dude i just realized im probably about to be bombarded with diary app ads. walked right into that one

if you Do see it i’m sorry i am unwell but i just gotta have somewhere to unravel

ok but actually posting online has some kind of psychological effect on my brain that makes me more satisfied than a diary. even if nobody looks at it. shouting into the void type of situation