Jeimi
@author-in-prog.bsky.social
Forget zodiac signs. What's your favourite biome?
August 26, 2025 at 8:06 PM
Forget zodiac signs. What's your favourite biome?
I resent having a corporeal form.
August 23, 2025 at 5:27 PM
I resent having a corporeal form.
Apparently shoving the milk to the back of the fridge makes it ✨extra✨ cold, and that's why I've gone through 2/3 of a gallon in like three days.
June 18, 2025 at 3:51 AM
Apparently shoving the milk to the back of the fridge makes it ✨extra✨ cold, and that's why I've gone through 2/3 of a gallon in like three days.
Randomly getting instrumental songs stuck in my head sucks because it's never long enough for me to identify/hum for identification, and there's also no lyrics to search up either.
Just me and this five second melody for hours.
Just me and this five second melody for hours.
June 16, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Randomly getting instrumental songs stuck in my head sucks because it's never long enough for me to identify/hum for identification, and there's also no lyrics to search up either.
Just me and this five second melody for hours.
Just me and this five second melody for hours.
In a literal argument with my toddler brain because I went out today and forgot to bring home iced coffee.
May 19, 2025 at 11:00 PM
In a literal argument with my toddler brain because I went out today and forgot to bring home iced coffee.
Most dinosaurs were definitely not colourblind.
May 10, 2025 at 1:58 PM
Most dinosaurs were definitely not colourblind.
Sometimes having a cat is like having a toddler:
"Don't eat that." "What's in your mouth?" "Why are you wet?" "We don't bite people." "Where did you get that?" "Stop eating plastic."
"Don't eat that." "What's in your mouth?" "Why are you wet?" "We don't bite people." "Where did you get that?" "Stop eating plastic."
April 2, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Sometimes having a cat is like having a toddler:
"Don't eat that." "What's in your mouth?" "Why are you wet?" "We don't bite people." "Where did you get that?" "Stop eating plastic."
"Don't eat that." "What's in your mouth?" "Why are you wet?" "We don't bite people." "Where did you get that?" "Stop eating plastic."
I just wish I could tell every octopus in the world that I love them and they're wonderful.
February 21, 2025 at 2:13 AM
I just wish I could tell every octopus in the world that I love them and they're wonderful.
Deadass just woke up from a dream that there was a Hamilton prequel musical about his time in the Islands. My review? Meanders a bit, not as tight as the original, but the audience participation in the 4-D effects was pretty cool.
February 15, 2025 at 9:22 AM
Deadass just woke up from a dream that there was a Hamilton prequel musical about his time in the Islands. My review? Meanders a bit, not as tight as the original, but the audience participation in the 4-D effects was pretty cool.
Things I have actually said out loud:
"What's the Japanese word for weeaboo?"
"What's the Japanese word for weeaboo?"
February 15, 2025 at 4:53 AM
Things I have actually said out loud:
"What's the Japanese word for weeaboo?"
"What's the Japanese word for weeaboo?"
Have you ever been laying in bed and suddenly realised one of your legs was locked up like a stone for no discernable reason? What's up with that? Is it the 'tism or the ADHD? Am I insane?
February 11, 2025 at 4:08 AM
Have you ever been laying in bed and suddenly realised one of your legs was locked up like a stone for no discernable reason? What's up with that? Is it the 'tism or the ADHD? Am I insane?
One of the worst things a friend ever said to me was
"You are now breathing manually."
I don't think I've ever fully forgiven him for it.
"You are now breathing manually."
I don't think I've ever fully forgiven him for it.
February 7, 2025 at 4:18 AM
One of the worst things a friend ever said to me was
"You are now breathing manually."
I don't think I've ever fully forgiven him for it.
"You are now breathing manually."
I don't think I've ever fully forgiven him for it.
Tried to roll over in bed, and my body became cereal.
*snap*
*crackle*
*pop*
*snap*
*crackle*
*pop*
February 2, 2025 at 6:28 AM
Tried to roll over in bed, and my body became cereal.
*snap*
*crackle*
*pop*
*snap*
*crackle*
*pop*
Is there anything more mildly discomforting than a sneeze that burns but won't follow through?
January 11, 2025 at 12:14 PM
Is there anything more mildly discomforting than a sneeze that burns but won't follow through?
I am incredibly bored, but nothing is The Thing so I'm just quietly climbing walls.
December 29, 2024 at 1:57 AM
I am incredibly bored, but nothing is The Thing so I'm just quietly climbing walls.
I deadass have no more fear. I'll grope around in the dark and scratch the first furry butt I find, whether it's Toast or not. Could be some poor Charlie demon getting the shock of it's unlife. Whatever.
December 15, 2024 at 7:16 AM
I deadass have no more fear. I'll grope around in the dark and scratch the first furry butt I find, whether it's Toast or not. Could be some poor Charlie demon getting the shock of it's unlife. Whatever.
I wonder if whales have ever held their breath so long they accidentally passed out?
November 27, 2024 at 10:44 AM
I wonder if whales have ever held their breath so long they accidentally passed out?
I could never be a welder. My dumb ass would get distracted immediately - "Look at the pretty lights!" - and ruin whatever I was working on.
November 21, 2024 at 12:52 PM
I could never be a welder. My dumb ass would get distracted immediately - "Look at the pretty lights!" - and ruin whatever I was working on.
Nothing will make you feel quite as loved as the cat running to greet you.
November 18, 2024 at 3:05 AM
Nothing will make you feel quite as loved as the cat running to greet you.