Me: "I gotta run some errands"

The errands:

Is 40 too old to be a sugar baby? Asking for a friend.

Waiting until my coworker goes on vacation to take out the embarrassingly large garbage bag full of recyclables I've been hoarding under my desk.

Cory Doctorow predicted it

Some of y'all are anti-Wrapped and that's ok, but today I learned that a guy I just made friends with on Instagram is obsessed with Creed, and I think that's important info to know.

Me: I hate bulking, I'm sick of feeling bloated all the time. Can't wait til cutting time when I can lean back out.

Bf: I'm gonna remind you of this 3 mos from now when ur crying about having to eat healthy. *pretends to make a record* "Nov. 26, 2024, 8:06 pm. Dawn complains about bulking.."

Rude.

Getting stoned and talking pens to my boyfriend, explaining that even though Koozie's ICLGEL (BIC's Intensity Clic) had its TikTok moment, the FCLGEL (Ferocity Clic) is really where it's at.

“We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist”

James Baldwin

When the home warranty call you at 6:30am about a claim while you're driving and asks you for your policy number like you just have it memorized??