Mad Auntie Kristy
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auntiekristy.bsky.social
Mad Auntie Kristy
@auntiekristy.bsky.social
1.2K followers 320 following 10K posts
wistful writer. reluctant poet. tired native. full of fire and bad metaphors. published under Kristine Wyllys.

“the banshee of affirmations” -@morriswayts

https://ko-fi.com/A457ISS

she/her/eldritch abomination.
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auntiekristy.bsky.social
I've been waxing poetically about @alwayscoffee.bsky.social for a decade and I'll continue for the rest of my decades because y'all. My girl. She is brilliant and kind and loyal and wise and funny and the purest of magics and I'm so bloody grateful for her.
Picture of a box containing a Hamilton Beach digital multicooker sitting on top of a black and white kitchen counter. Picture of a Hamilton Beach multicooker sitting on a black and white marbled kitchen counter with white subway tiles in the background
October 24, 2025 at 5:55 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
ACTUALLY IM GONNA DO IT HERE I DIDNT ALT TEXT AGAIN I'M SO SORRY
October 11, 2025 at 12:55 AM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT ALT TEXTING JUST THIS ONCE
October 10, 2025 at 1:37 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE BUT THIS SHIRT ISN'T.
A dark, curly-haired woman in black and clear glasses standing in front of a white door smiling, holding out her black shirt with Medusa holding the head of Perseus.
August 31, 2025 at 12:36 AM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
y'all. 😭😂😂
A screenshot of a TikTok message request from an old white man in a decorated military jacket with the name General Mathew W. McFarlane.
July 8, 2025 at 12:53 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
With all the luck we do not normally possess, we are around a month away from being in our own place and while the enormity of rebuilding and replacing overwhelms me, I'm hesitantly eyeing things like decor and ANYWAY I GOT THE FIRST THING FOR MY FUTURE KITCHEN WINDOW SILL?
A small wooden sign in various colored script that says TUMBLE OUT KF BED AND STUMBLE TO THE KITCHEN POUR MYSELF A CUP IF AMBITION. Below it, in smaller light blue script, is a replica of Dolly Parton's signature with her signature butterfly.
June 5, 2025 at 2:38 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
I'm not allowed to share pictures everywhere yet, but for those of you who have followed along to 17-now-18's journey from a heavily supported boy child to a mainstreamed senior graduating with honors:

He did it.
A group of graduates on a freshly cut green football field waiting in line to receive their diplomas, wearing baby blue robes and caps. In the middle is a tall young man wearing glasses, staring at the camera and smirking.
June 1, 2025 at 3:27 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
17 is now insisting this be included in his graduation announcement to out-of-state family. Mainly the conservative ones.

Me: you can't read the sign though?
17: the torn flag and my expression says enough.
A tall young man dressed all in black with windswept darkish hair standing on the steps of an old white farmhouse porch with blue shutters next to the windows. There's wild and overgrown rose bushes bracketing the path leading to the stairs. He's holding a baby blue sign that says LAST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR. 17-YEARS-OLD. WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO BE: ALIVE. Next to him, flying from one of the porch's weathered posts, is a torn and tangled faded American flag. The young man is grimacing. The picture is a recreation of his first day of school picture, where he was bright-eyed, grinning wildly, holding a sign that stated he was in Kindergarten, five-years-old, and when he grew up he wanted to be a dinosaur expert.
May 24, 2025 at 7:28 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
Also, yes, I was that mom:
On the left is a little boy with spikey hair in a red Avengers shirt and khaki shorts, wearing a backpack with black straps and sticking out his tongue. He's holding a dry erase board that says 5 YEARS OLD. KINDERGARTEN. WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO BE A: DINOSAUR EXPERT. On the left is a young man with longer hair across his forehead wearing a plain black t-shirt and black glasses. He's holding a baby blue sign that says LAST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR. 17-YEARS-OLD. WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO BE: ALIVE.
May 23, 2025 at 2:34 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
Graduating in the year of our Lord 2025.
A tall young man with shaggy brownish hair wearing black joggers with a white 25 on them and a plain black t-shirt. He's standing on a front porch with various front porch things in the background and holding a sign on baby blue paper that says: LAST DAY OF SENIOR YEAR. 17-YEARS-OLD WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO BE: ALIVE.
May 23, 2025 at 2:30 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
Idk why 14 won't follow me on TikTok this is grade a stuff I'm doing
May 22, 2025 at 11:45 AM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
WAKE UP, BESTIE. LAST EVER SCHEDULE JUST DROPPED. 😭🙆🏽‍♀️
A screenshot of a schedule, showing one shift on Sunday May 25th from 4:30-8:30pm
May 22, 2025 at 1:13 AM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
pick a selfie from your gallery and turn it b&w
A dark haired woman with her hair tied back in a black shirt staring at the camera with a serious ecpression while holding a dagger in her hand in front of a bunch of files.
May 21, 2025 at 1:07 AM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
How achingly cool to have made a human who has grown up to be so smart and brave and resilient. Who has never been content with what's expected of him. Who started school with only a handful of words and is now graduating with honors. How cool it is to have made someone so cool.
May 19, 2025 at 5:55 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
I MEAN 😭
A dark haired baby in a dark blue jacket with a white shirt with drums on it staring at the camera with his chubby fist near his mouth. A roughly spiky haired 6-year-old boy in red pants, a red and blue striped sweater with an oversized brown tweed jacket over top. He's got a green boy tie around his neck and is smiling in front of a white fridge A tall young man with short hair in a black jacket, gray CLASS OF 2025 shirt and black pants standing on a gravel driveway with greenery in the background.
May 17, 2025 at 6:44 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
Without downloading new pictures, my mental state.
A black and white raccoon with a blue striped towel over its head looking out a window with the words "what are your pronouns? I wanna insult you respectfully" written across it.
May 15, 2025 at 5:12 AM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
Betty: Are you --

Me: Watching Law & Order: SVU with mom? Yes.

Betty: Kristy.

Me: What? She loves this show!

Betty: Kristy.

Me: What? It's Mother's Day! I'm spending time with my MOTHER.
A black urn that says YOU'RE LUCKY I'M IN THIS URN OR I'D KICK YOUR ASS sitting on a tan leather couch.
May 11, 2025 at 1:53 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
May you be blessed by Meth Raccoon today and always.
A fat raccoon sitting in the driver's seat of a messy car holding a meth pipe in front of a steering wheel
May 10, 2025 at 10:19 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
My blind reaction 😭😂😂
May 9, 2025 at 3:58 AM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
To bring it around full circle: the first Demarcus picture to end this YEAR long journey of Monday slaying with Morris's badass haikus and Demarcus's flames.

May your Tuesdays never be Mondays and your Mondays forever die painful deaths. 😭💖🔥
A pink and purple 3D printed baby dragon laying on top of a tan pillow that says WE ARE DRAGONS 2024 BETTER FEAR US on a brown couch.
April 29, 2025 at 11:42 AM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
Without downloading any new pics where are you mentally?
A picture of Oscar the Grouch, the green fuzzy muppet from Sesame Street, coming out of a metal trashcan with the lid on his head and his arms extended saying "I have never killed anyone."
April 25, 2025 at 5:37 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
We have a shout out board in the front offices and I came in tonight to this and HAHAHA I'm crying just a little:
A pink post-it note that says "Kristy is doing a fabulous job providing emotional support on the crisis line. Keep it up!"
April 25, 2025 at 6:23 AM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
FIFTY-TWO DEMARCUS HAIKUS. Morris has been here defeating Mondays with haikus for FIFTY-TWO WEEKS.

May this Monday be banished by the power of those words, claw, flame, and the mightiest of glares. 💖🔥
A pink and purple 3D printed baby dragon laying on top of a pile of wood, with a sign that says TOASTED in the background.
April 21, 2025 at 11:44 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
Hunting for bugs with this fearless dragon girl. She so very carefully picked up each one, dubbed them all baby girls, and placed them in their temporary home with a loving little kiss to the container.
The back of a small blonde girl child with her curls in a bun and wearing a baby blue shirt, darker blue shorts peering into an ashy fire pit sitting on river rocks. She's holding a bug collecting container on a string in one tiny hand and clutching a small blue handled net in the other.
April 19, 2025 at 11:40 PM
auntiekristy.bsky.social
White text against a purple background that says WEDNESDAY HAS BEEN CANCELLED DUE TO A SCHEDULING ERROR. Above it is a darker purple eye shape with a white crescent moon in the middle.
April 16, 2025 at 12:57 PM