1. Still calls it The Playroom
2. Instead of having his DJs he makes her wear MJs (Mom Jeans)
3. When they meet she's stoll dressed frumpy but idk unthinkingly wipes some schmutz off his face
4. Her Inner Mommy
5. Everything else about his pursuit is identical. Literally just the kink is changed.

So the next one will get their throat torn out ig. 🤷‍♀️

But like I must be a monstrous unwomanly bitch because like what else can a person who wears skirts but is not a mom possibly be right???

Surely not a full human with a whole lifetime's worth of reasons why they would simply like to do work normally without weird family dynamics.

It also sucks because when I corrected one of these folks, they revised their mental narrative about me to "oh she HATES children and is REVOLTED by them" when... I like children. I was not able to have kids. It was not an opportunity afforded to me.

To be clear, this would be extremely shitty to do to an actual woman, too. It applies a ton of framing and assumptions of caretaking that's wildly inappropriate in the workplace.

But if you all are so cool and down with the queers, you have to be prepared for queers who look like me.

But I work in a super hip, queer, youthful business, and it fucking CHAFES when during introductions someone pointedly asks the gender of everyone except me. Following it up with a term as fraught and gendered as "mom" AFTER they've been told and while I'm wearing a damn pronoun pin? Not super cool.

I use they/she pronouns primarily because I'm definitely not a he but also to gaslight myself into not caring when folks inevitably read me as a woman, due to my clothes and body.