Crouton 🍉
@atomiccrouton.bsky.social
A little weird but not a sin
Join me on Twitch at twitch.tv/atomiccrouton !
Join me on Twitch at twitch.tv/atomiccrouton !
Funny as hell that conservatives did their version of DEI and participation trophies and now all degrees from OU are worthless
December 8, 2025 at 10:35 PM
Funny as hell that conservatives did their version of DEI and participation trophies and now all degrees from OU are worthless
Me: ... Yeah and not only do sprinkles feel great but they're amazing when you burry you hands into it. Small pasta works great too
Coworker that's majoring in mental health: like a fidget toy?
Me: you know what...
Coworker that's majoring in mental health: like a fidget toy?
Me: you know what...
a cat sitting on a blue couch with the words do n't look at me
ALT: a cat sitting on a blue couch with the words do n't look at me
media.tenor.com
December 6, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Me: ... Yeah and not only do sprinkles feel great but they're amazing when you burry you hands into it. Small pasta works great too
Coworker that's majoring in mental health: like a fidget toy?
Me: you know what...
Coworker that's majoring in mental health: like a fidget toy?
Me: you know what...
Pantone's 2026 color of the year, Cloud Dancer, should be renamed Colonizer Cream
December 6, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Pantone's 2026 color of the year, Cloud Dancer, should be renamed Colonizer Cream
Me: hey have I shown you the OKC cock ring?
"...."
*Sends photo of the cock ring"
"WHY DOES IT JUST SAY COCK?!?!"
To go with Okussy duh
(The Okussy is just east of where I35 and I40 meet)
"...."
*Sends photo of the cock ring"
"WHY DOES IT JUST SAY COCK?!?!"
To go with Okussy duh
(The Okussy is just east of where I35 and I40 meet)
December 3, 2025 at 11:17 PM
Me: hey have I shown you the OKC cock ring?
"...."
*Sends photo of the cock ring"
"WHY DOES IT JUST SAY COCK?!?!"
To go with Okussy duh
(The Okussy is just east of where I35 and I40 meet)
"...."
*Sends photo of the cock ring"
"WHY DOES IT JUST SAY COCK?!?!"
To go with Okussy duh
(The Okussy is just east of where I35 and I40 meet)
Me when someone follows me because they think I give out good advice:
a man with a beard says i 'm a disaster while sitting on a couch
ALT: a man with a beard says i 'm a disaster while sitting on a couch
media.tenor.com
December 1, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Me when someone follows me because they think I give out good advice:
Me: yeah and you just throw all the braces on like a wanna be robo cop and it helps with the swellimg
Coworker: huh and what does that look like
My brain: an ICE agent probably
Some thoughts stay inside thoughts 😭😭😭
Coworker: huh and what does that look like
My brain: an ICE agent probably
Some thoughts stay inside thoughts 😭😭😭
November 27, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Me: yeah and you just throw all the braces on like a wanna be robo cop and it helps with the swellimg
Coworker: huh and what does that look like
My brain: an ICE agent probably
Some thoughts stay inside thoughts 😭😭😭
Coworker: huh and what does that look like
My brain: an ICE agent probably
Some thoughts stay inside thoughts 😭😭😭
Random racist: no I'm not officially a part of a tribe because I haven't done the white man's paper work
Me, a white person, who knows that the nation they're claiming has their own internal process that is separate from the US and State government to be put on the census: so this is awkward but...
Me, a white person, who knows that the nation they're claiming has their own internal process that is separate from the US and State government to be put on the census: so this is awkward but...
November 24, 2025 at 9:33 AM
Random racist: no I'm not officially a part of a tribe because I haven't done the white man's paper work
Me, a white person, who knows that the nation they're claiming has their own internal process that is separate from the US and State government to be put on the census: so this is awkward but...
Me, a white person, who knows that the nation they're claiming has their own internal process that is separate from the US and State government to be put on the census: so this is awkward but...
How am I supposed to explain to my work tomorrow that I spent all afternoon trying to get Grok to say that Elon Musk is better at being pegged than Jeff Bezos?
November 21, 2025 at 1:03 AM
How am I supposed to explain to my work tomorrow that I spent all afternoon trying to get Grok to say that Elon Musk is better at being pegged than Jeff Bezos?
Me for the longest time: huh, I wonder why I remember trans body dysmorphia but don't feel it more...
*Loses a bunch of weight and goes on a fitness journey*
Me today: OH THERE THE FUCK IT IS 😭😭😭
Gotta work on becoming muscly faster to get that androgeny back 😭
*Loses a bunch of weight and goes on a fitness journey*
Me today: OH THERE THE FUCK IT IS 😭😭😭
Gotta work on becoming muscly faster to get that androgeny back 😭
November 17, 2025 at 5:12 AM
Me for the longest time: huh, I wonder why I remember trans body dysmorphia but don't feel it more...
*Loses a bunch of weight and goes on a fitness journey*
Me today: OH THERE THE FUCK IT IS 😭😭😭
Gotta work on becoming muscly faster to get that androgeny back 😭
*Loses a bunch of weight and goes on a fitness journey*
Me today: OH THERE THE FUCK IT IS 😭😭😭
Gotta work on becoming muscly faster to get that androgeny back 😭
It's mildly irritating that MAGA says that PDFilia is a spectrum but can't wrap their head around gender
November 16, 2025 at 5:56 PM
It's mildly irritating that MAGA says that PDFilia is a spectrum but can't wrap their head around gender
As a reminder as more of the emails and information comes out, Monica Lewinsky and Anita Hill are victims. Using them to make jokes about the Epstein crimes does not support them as victims. It uses their trauma for a cheap laugh.
Leave them alone. The jokes are disgusting.
Leave them alone. The jokes are disgusting.
November 16, 2025 at 2:17 AM
As a reminder as more of the emails and information comes out, Monica Lewinsky and Anita Hill are victims. Using them to make jokes about the Epstein crimes does not support them as victims. It uses their trauma for a cheap laugh.
Leave them alone. The jokes are disgusting.
Leave them alone. The jokes are disgusting.
Things I have said during training:
"In order to get the cloud of flour when you throw, you need to throw the flour like a sassy gay who's reeeaaaaaaaaallly good at frisbee golf"
Not sure why that works but it does
"In order to get the cloud of flour when you throw, you need to throw the flour like a sassy gay who's reeeaaaaaaaaallly good at frisbee golf"
Not sure why that works but it does
November 5, 2025 at 5:32 AM
Things I have said during training:
"In order to get the cloud of flour when you throw, you need to throw the flour like a sassy gay who's reeeaaaaaaaaallly good at frisbee golf"
Not sure why that works but it does
"In order to get the cloud of flour when you throw, you need to throw the flour like a sassy gay who's reeeaaaaaaaaallly good at frisbee golf"
Not sure why that works but it does
Me patiently waiting at work to continue because I answer to the dough and not the other way around
spongebob is sitting at a table in a diner with a cup of coffee
ALT: spongebob is sitting at a table in a diner with a cup of coffee
media.tenor.com
November 5, 2025 at 5:31 AM
Me patiently waiting at work to continue because I answer to the dough and not the other way around
I remember sitting in a meeting describing our client and I said our client was entering a period of financial uncertainty which would lead to layoffs making them an increased risk for our own company losing revenue. My job eventually fired me and 5 months later the client laid off 14k employees 💅
November 3, 2025 at 11:50 PM
I remember sitting in a meeting describing our client and I said our client was entering a period of financial uncertainty which would lead to layoffs making them an increased risk for our own company losing revenue. My job eventually fired me and 5 months later the client laid off 14k employees 💅
"hey so it's not nice to call something stoner food"
Guuurl he be dipping his rice crispy in nacho sauce. I need you to look me dead in the face and tell me that someone on gods green earth making nacho rice crispies is not making stoner food
Guuurl he be dipping his rice crispy in nacho sauce. I need you to look me dead in the face and tell me that someone on gods green earth making nacho rice crispies is not making stoner food
November 2, 2025 at 7:52 AM
"hey so it's not nice to call something stoner food"
Guuurl he be dipping his rice crispy in nacho sauce. I need you to look me dead in the face and tell me that someone on gods green earth making nacho rice crispies is not making stoner food
Guuurl he be dipping his rice crispy in nacho sauce. I need you to look me dead in the face and tell me that someone on gods green earth making nacho rice crispies is not making stoner food
Just a reminder is churches actually served the purpose they say they do to justify tax exemption, this issue with SNAP wouldn't be as big of an issue as it is
November 1, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Just a reminder is churches actually served the purpose they say they do to justify tax exemption, this issue with SNAP wouldn't be as big of an issue as it is
Here's the deal. If you use words like the R word because it's "no big deal" and I chose to remove myself from your community because you refuse to do something, that is on you.
I get not every space is for every person but guilt is not going to be the thing that convinces me to come back
I get not every space is for every person but guilt is not going to be the thing that convinces me to come back
November 1, 2025 at 7:41 AM
Here's the deal. If you use words like the R word because it's "no big deal" and I chose to remove myself from your community because you refuse to do something, that is on you.
I get not every space is for every person but guilt is not going to be the thing that convinces me to come back
I get not every space is for every person but guilt is not going to be the thing that convinces me to come back
It is 4 in the goddamn morning TikTok. I did NOT ask to experience self reflection. I ask for funny hahas. Waiter send this back to the kitchen. I didn't order this.
October 31, 2025 at 9:15 AM
It is 4 in the goddamn morning TikTok. I did NOT ask to experience self reflection. I ask for funny hahas. Waiter send this back to the kitchen. I didn't order this.
Omg I forgot I made a playlist called "Not All Men But Definitely That Fucking Guy" 🤣🤣🤣
October 30, 2025 at 5:44 AM
Omg I forgot I made a playlist called "Not All Men But Definitely That Fucking Guy" 🤣🤣🤣
I love it when grown married straight men react to Twilight because they get so excited when they see where the memes came from 🤣
October 29, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I love it when grown married straight men react to Twilight because they get so excited when they see where the memes came from 🤣
I really wish putting on some of my skin care wouldn't look like I'm reenacting an adult film 😭😭😭
October 28, 2025 at 2:44 AM
I really wish putting on some of my skin care wouldn't look like I'm reenacting an adult film 😭😭😭
Me in college: accounting is awful and I'll never do it again
Me a decade later: yeah I know basic accounting principles. I'd love to set up a spreadsheet to help track our food donation funds
Young me was very silly and naive
Me a decade later: yeah I know basic accounting principles. I'd love to set up a spreadsheet to help track our food donation funds
Young me was very silly and naive
October 27, 2025 at 7:34 PM
Me in college: accounting is awful and I'll never do it again
Me a decade later: yeah I know basic accounting principles. I'd love to set up a spreadsheet to help track our food donation funds
Young me was very silly and naive
Me a decade later: yeah I know basic accounting principles. I'd love to set up a spreadsheet to help track our food donation funds
Young me was very silly and naive