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atomic-panda.bsky.social
Atom
@atomic-panda.bsky.social
45 followers 70 following 49 posts
Transmasc, Queer, AuDHD

Ornery middle-aged anarchist

Unaffiliated Romantic Satanist

Crochet is my coping skill.

Tired. Just... So tired.
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atomic-panda.bsky.social
Like I said....
A fresh chest rocker and tattoo on a fat white transmasculine person that reads "death before de-transition". Below the rocker is his government name in his own handwriting, crossed out in red. In the center of his chest is an atomic symbol with a testosterone molecule diagram in the center.
March 22, 2025 at 11:02 PM
atomic-panda.bsky.social
Oh yeah. I still do fiber things.

Making another Adventurer's Hood inspired by Weird Eclectic Crafter's pattern!

My second ever spin is complete and actually looks more like it should!

And spent NINE HOURS today at a local fiber festival. That six ounce braid of fiber was only $30.

😌
A crochet hooded cowl in progress. Hand spun yarn on a drop spindle. A large wool braid and a merino/silk/cashmere blend skein of fingering weight yarn.
March 9, 2025 at 1:53 AM
atomic-panda.bsky.social
I do not buy clothes for myself very often.

It is spendy to clothe this much body.

But I had to get some concert black for upcoming chorale stuff. And DXL (where I get my *nice* stuff) really said, "Here - have some customer service."

Also, fuck my apartment complex. They've done this TWICE.
Screenshot of a customer service chat exchange at Big & Tall clothier, DXL, wherein Atom's issue of a package being returned from his apartment complex management is quickly and efficiently resolved with free and expedited replacement.
February 24, 2025 at 4:34 PM
atomic-panda.bsky.social
Feeling a bit bleh and having a bad pain day :(

My solution is to sit in my comfy as hell desk chair for some lofi and spinning.

The stuff off the spindle started to look a little too much like yarn, so I reckon it's time to spin finer to ply my chonky attempt.
Beginner attempts at spinning wool. One bunch is very thick and mishapen. The yarn on the spindle is finer and more even in thickness. The yarn is variegated in blues, black, tan, oranges, greens, and browns.
February 9, 2025 at 7:04 PM
atomic-panda.bsky.social
Finally picked up my hormones today.

And it was.... Surreal.
Prose about a pharmacy transaction titled "Testosterone, January 30th" *Note, the next three lines are crossed out to indicate a feeling of trying to find the right opening to a letter To the nice person helping me out, Dearest comrade, Beloved family, To the divine human, master of their own creation, and sharer of that same Holy spark that makes us do what we do when we discover who we are, I cried when I got back to my girlfriend's car. When I caught your eye over that counter when you asked, “How are you holding up?”, it took everything in my power to not to scream and sob and throw myself on the pharmacy counter to grieve and wail. I have a feeling you would have done the same. I think I smiled. Probably sadly. Your eyes got big over your mask when you saw the price of my meds and you wanted to make sure I had insurance. I do. But they're fucking around on prior auth and I'm not rationing anymore, not for as long as I can. And I run out this weekend. ((Prose continues in the next image description)) Because it's been two weeks and I was already a few days into that bottle and rationing when the script was sent. Because I don't expect them to approve it any time soon. And I'm fucking lucky I can afford it today. I wanted to tell you all about our family back home and how I'm so scared and want to just bring them all here. If we could just get them all here. I wanted to tell you how our mom cried with me last night, discussing the horror and begging her to keep an eye out back home. To be a helper. To do that thing she's so good at - loving others. Instead, you just said, “Yeah, me too.” And we briefly talked about community and MA and friends and that we'll see each other at the next meeting. We hope. What a kind of time is it when a transaction over medication ends mutually with, “Stay safe.” “Have a good evening,” would have been a liar’s wish. And I know - you and me? We ain't liars. And for a moment, if even for the time of a simple transaction, we both were seen. And heard. Our hurts were shared. But I was hopeful. --End--
January 31, 2025 at 3:35 AM
atomic-panda.bsky.social
What am I crocheting lately?

Some gay shit. Obv.

Got this fine yarn to do some doilies, but the blend is too soft to not be worn. It's so good.
A crochet work in progress - the first several rows of a triangle shawl in alternating rows of rainbow variegated yarn and a heathered black yarn.
January 13, 2025 at 5:58 PM
atomic-panda.bsky.social
Have enough yarn to make a pair of fingerless mits to match the big project using this yarn. Still gotta do the finishing on the big project before the reveal, but have a freehanded glove I finished during therapy :)
Photo of the topside Atom's left hand wearing a hand-crocheted fingerless glove in hand-dyed and hand-spun multicolor yarn. The tones are mostly warm and autumnal with bits of purple, green, blue, and black. Photo of the palm Atom's left hand wearing a hand-crocheted fingerless glove in hand-dyed and hand-spun multicolor yarn. The tones are mostly warm and autumnal with bits of purple, green, blue, and black.
January 7, 2025 at 8:09 PM
atomic-panda.bsky.social
Gonna just leave this one pinned perpetually...
Image with text list of support hotlines: Warm Lines That Don't Call Police More resources at InclusiveTherapists.com/crisis - Call Blackline: 800-604-5841 (centers BI&POC, LGBTQ+ Black Femme Lens) - Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860 (US). 877-330-6366 (Canada). (Run by and for trans people) - Wildflower Alliance Peer Support Line: 888-407-4515 (trained peer supporters) - StrongHearts Native Helpline: 844-762-8483 (Centering Native Americans and Alaska Natives) - Thrive Lifeline: 313-662-8209 (trans-led and operated) - LGBT National Help Center: 888-843-4564 @InclusiveTherapists
January 2, 2025 at 6:15 PM
atomic-panda.bsky.social
If I'm telling folks I'm gonna be posting over here now, I reckon I ought to make a post, yeah?

Y'all know what to expect.

Here's the progress on my latest crochet project 😂
A portion of a crochet project in multicolor yarn. There are alternating rows of puffy and recessed stitches. The yarn is hand dyed in autumnal colors, leaning toward browns and oranges with occasional greens, golds, purples, and blues. The fiber has a slight sheen.
January 2, 2025 at 4:36 PM