Calling your cat's paws "peets" instead of feet>>>>

My sister and I get up at the same time to get ready for the day, and some mornings we're so chatty I'm almost late for work, and other mornings we ignore each other entirely.

Said "tru dat" to my therapist during a really bad dissociating episode the other day and she thought it was hilarious

The speed at which my favorite book went from To Kill A Mockingbird to Butcher and Blackbird is actually insane

I want to go back to NYC purely for the street preformers

That fresh outta high school Dollar General employee has seen me at my best and my worst this year

I also can't be a parent because how tf am I supposed to explain to them what shadows are??

Whenever I tell my Alexa to "delete all timers" it sounds like I'm saying "delete Alzheimer's," and you know what? Yeah, delete that shit, too.

Did a "cousins walk" by myself this year

Imma need some of you to think about thriving out of spite. I had big plans for 2025 and I’m definitely not gonna pre-derail them for likes of Elin and Tromp. I’m getting more involved. Loving harder. Writing hornier. Having more fun. I’m gonna be so kind to my neighbors, bitch.

Gave a thumbs-down to someone who didn't obey my stop sign today

I need to have a messy divorce ASAP if I'm planning to beat the world record for most marriages by the time I'm 70

I miss the general chaos that would happen when the school bus would take a different route than usual. The hubbub that ensued was great.