Fuda, without you by my side, I have become a crybaby, always shedding big tears suddenly. I just cried again, do you think I am fragile? I remember one time, I cried because of a difficulty, you looked at me, the worry in your eyes was about to overflow. Now without you, I love to cry secretly.

I've filled your bowl with water and food. Are you coming back for more?Are you still okay?I can't watch you staring at me anymore, I can't clean up your excrement anymore, I can't watch you act like a spoiled child, I can't let you accompany me to eat, walk and be in a daze anymore. I miss you.

I have been running around the city these days. They said you went to the countryside, where there are many puppies to play with. Is that true? I can't bear to think about you being eaten or hit by a car. Are you okay? It's raining outside. Have you hidden? Are you sick? Are you hungry? I miss you.

Another Chinese friend of mine told me that this was a sign of care for me. If I cried, she would comfort me and encourage me to be strong. But I didn't want to cry in front of so many people, not even on the phone. I didn't want others to see me crying with swollen eyes and unable to open my phone.

When I lose control of my tone, she gets even more upset. She thinks I have no patience at all.She always says "whatever" or "it doesn't matter". That's your pet. They always think this way and watch you break down emotionally, and then come and accuse you of having no conscience. What's conscience?

I admit that I get annoyed when I look for my dog. I admit that I can’t control my tone when someone asks me for the fourth or fifth time. I feel like she is provoking me, making fun of me, and using me as a joke. Because I have told her over and over again. When I can’t control my tone,

I don't understand why such a person would repeatedly stab me in the heart with a knife. She would call me every night to ask about the progress, and I would always answer truthfully, no matter how big or small. But by noon the next day, it was as if the memory had been erased with an eraser.

My Chinese colleague here also has a dog. It is still a very cute puppy. The little guy is a little naughty. When I took her to pick them up, the two little guys got along very well. My colleague would ask me about my experience in raising dogs from time to time and ask what kind of dog food I like.

Someone in the local pet group said that if I still couldn't find the pet after a day and a night, I should get a new one, even if it was exactly the same. I don't understand why people would comfort someone like this.

I have not been in the mood to work these days. Yesterday I got another piece of bad news. Maybe in three or four months or half a year, maybe in more than 50 days, I will leave this city. If she comes back, will she not be able to find me and think that I abandoned her?

Every time, it was a different scene and we repeated the same thing, but there were a few times when I dreamed that she was right next to me. My house is very messy now, but I don't want to tidy it up because there is only a little hair left, and I am afraid that I will lose her smell immediately.

These days I get up at six o'clock every day, fall asleep in the early morning of the next day, and can't eat.I dream about her every day. In my dreams, she was adopted by different people, but she was unhappy. She was always locked up with a thick iron chain, and the food she ate looked like swill.

I drove here every day, hoping to see her on the road. Later, I spent half an hour learning to ride an electric bike, which was similar to the bicycle I learned when I was a child. I rode the electric bike everywhere, and I became more and more desperate, thinking that I might lose her forever.

Fearing that someone might take it there, I left my phone number and went to check every day. During this time, I also found two cat-selling dens with many kinds of cats. These days, I got up at six o'clock every day to go out and look for the dog, and I could only eat one meal a day.

At first I didn't believe it, and I called the police but they just asked a few questions and nothing happened.I realized I had to rely on myself, and I found a post on a social media platform saying there was a dog market here, where dogs were killed and weighed immediately. My baby was not there.

They would comment on people, call people names, smoke and throw cigarette butts everywhere, and smoke in the hospital. But I didn't expect someone to steal the dog. My treasure left me. I frantically posted on social platforms to find the dog, and local people on tiktok told me that she was eaten.

She was very happy for an hour and a half after being taken out, because she had been in China for a long time and had been here for almost half a year, and she had never encountered theft, slander, robbery, or anyone with a gun. The more you understand their culture, the less you like them.

Until two o'clock last Saturday afternoon, which was the afternoon of May 24, 2025. The sun was strong but not scorching. I originally wanted to work from home and finish my work early, but she wanted to go out and play and I found out, so I thought it was okay since she would be back in two hours.

We often drive to other places together. After driving 80 kilometers or more than 100 kilometers, I will stop to rest for a while and play with her for 15-20 minutes, sometimes more than half an hour. She will accompany me when I go out to take out the trash, buy food, and take a walk.