Edward Wolden
@astrostomp.bsky.social
Quack Fu master, ska enthusiast, harsher of vibes
Texas Hold ‘em but it’s just hugging Austin comics and telling them it’s not their fault
October 29, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Texas Hold ‘em but it’s just hugging Austin comics and telling them it’s not their fault
Reposted by Edward Wolden
WE ARE $600 AWAY FROM OUR GOAL!!! Please consider backing or sharing, especially with any monsterfuckers in your life. This is a very monsterfucker-coded game.
THE CRYPTID SHOW IS LIVE ON BACKERKIT NOW. Please back it and share it with your friends! Also please enjoy these fucking fantastic bumper stickers i came up with as a backer reward
www.backerkit.com/c/projects/p...
www.backerkit.com/c/projects/p...
October 8, 2025 at 7:26 PM
WE ARE $600 AWAY FROM OUR GOAL!!! Please consider backing or sharing, especially with any monsterfuckers in your life. This is a very monsterfucker-coded game.
Rock Bottom? Oh, you mean Kevin Hart?
October 6, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Rock Bottom? Oh, you mean Kevin Hart?
The Mandela effect is wild, growing up, I could’ve sworn the President of the United States was on the Epstain list but I just looked it up and it’s actually the Epstein list
September 3, 2025 at 3:05 PM
The Mandela effect is wild, growing up, I could’ve sworn the President of the United States was on the Epstain list but I just looked it up and it’s actually the Epstein list
Reposted by Edward Wolden
Studies show women blink nearly twice as often as men, mostly because they can’t believe the shit you just said
August 22, 2025 at 11:41 AM
Studies show women blink nearly twice as often as men, mostly because they can’t believe the shit you just said
Studies show women blink nearly twice as often as men, mostly because they can’t believe the shit you just said
August 22, 2025 at 11:41 AM
Studies show women blink nearly twice as often as men, mostly because they can’t believe the shit you just said
“It takes two to Tango!” - Sylvester Stallone’s stunt double in the ‘80s
July 24, 2025 at 5:14 PM
“It takes two to Tango!” - Sylvester Stallone’s stunt double in the ‘80s
Veterinarian Bart Simpson after he couldn’t save the calf. “You don’t have a cow, man”
July 24, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Veterinarian Bart Simpson after he couldn’t save the calf. “You don’t have a cow, man”
Maybe if they had named the company Astrologist instead, he would’ve seen this coming
July 18, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Maybe if they had named the company Astrologist instead, he would’ve seen this coming
My buddy builds stages for a living. It’s a stand on business.
July 15, 2025 at 3:39 PM
My buddy builds stages for a living. It’s a stand on business.
Guy who’s only read The Trial seeing an ICE raid - “Man, this country sure is kafkaesque”
Guy who’s only read The Metamorphosis seeing Laura Loomer’s face - “Man, this country sure is kafkaesque”
Guy who’s only read The Metamorphosis seeing Laura Loomer’s face - “Man, this country sure is kafkaesque”
July 3, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Guy who’s only read The Trial seeing an ICE raid - “Man, this country sure is kafkaesque”
Guy who’s only read The Metamorphosis seeing Laura Loomer’s face - “Man, this country sure is kafkaesque”
Guy who’s only read The Metamorphosis seeing Laura Loomer’s face - “Man, this country sure is kafkaesque”
Elvis Presley was definitely the King
(An inbred white guy who stole all his stuff from other cultures)
(An inbred white guy who stole all his stuff from other cultures)
June 26, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Elvis Presley was definitely the King
(An inbred white guy who stole all his stuff from other cultures)
(An inbred white guy who stole all his stuff from other cultures)
Somewhere Lin Manuel Miranda is in a room trying to rhyme Zohran with “we won, we won, we won”
June 25, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Somewhere Lin Manuel Miranda is in a room trying to rhyme Zohran with “we won, we won, we won”
The Trump administration is renaming military bases after Confederate generals, which means my ex was wrong, some people still love losers
June 19, 2025 at 2:29 PM
The Trump administration is renaming military bases after Confederate generals, which means my ex was wrong, some people still love losers
“I did all for Tanooki” - Fred Durst playing Super Mario Bros. 3
June 17, 2025 at 4:52 PM
“I did all for Tanooki” - Fred Durst playing Super Mario Bros. 3
“I did it all for the cookie” - Muppet Fred Durst
June 17, 2025 at 2:48 PM
“I did it all for the cookie” - Muppet Fred Durst
Trump stopped an Israeli plan to kill Iran’s supreme leader, he reportedly didn’t want people to know killing leaders is something you can do.
June 16, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Trump stopped an Israeli plan to kill Iran’s supreme leader, he reportedly didn’t want people to know killing leaders is something you can do.
It should’ve been Mike Love
June 11, 2025 at 5:16 PM
It should’ve been Mike Love
Gonna pass out flyers for my comedy show at the protest today
June 10, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Gonna pass out flyers for my comedy show at the protest today
Growing up in the 90’s, one riot will always be king
June 9, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Growing up in the 90’s, one riot will always be king
“Don’t worry it’s not my fist rodeo” - cowboy proctologist
May 27, 2025 at 5:48 PM
“Don’t worry it’s not my fist rodeo” - cowboy proctologist
Emo kids love going to the deli because of all the cold cuts
May 27, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Emo kids love going to the deli because of all the cold cuts
If we’re not allowed to give them cocaine, why do they call it a baby bump?
May 27, 2025 at 3:05 PM
If we’re not allowed to give them cocaine, why do they call it a baby bump?
As nicknames go, I think Billy is the greatest of all time
May 26, 2025 at 4:18 PM
As nicknames go, I think Billy is the greatest of all time
Gonna make a monument to the lack of Canadian Prog Rock bands called Mt Rushless
May 26, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Gonna make a monument to the lack of Canadian Prog Rock bands called Mt Rushless