Assaph Mehr 📚⚔️🕵️👻🏺🏛️🤖
LightNews LightNews
banner
assaph.bsky.social
Assaph Mehr 📚⚔️🕵️👻🏺🏛️🤖
@assaph.bsky.social
2.8K followers 1.9K following 570 posts
Author of Murder In Absentia, an historical-fantasy murder-mystery in a quasi-Roman Ancient World (see http://egretia.com); Mad genius behind http://TheProtagonistSpeaks.com
Posts Replies Media Videos
assaph.bsky.social
Ah, yes, that time when we used necromancy and raised spirits to get book reviews. The length publishers have to go these days 😂
I may have learned ceremonial magick in the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, but I'm glad this guy wasn't after our secret society! -- Aleister Crowley, occultist [The image also shows two book covers at the bottom right: "MURDER IN ABSENTIA" and "IN NUMINA" by ASSAPH MEHR]
November 13, 2025 at 3:27 AM
assaph.bsky.social
#WritersTip 🤣🤣🤣Don't use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity.Retry
Don't use a big word when a singularly unloquacious and diminutive linguistic expression will satisfactorily accomplish the contemporary necessity.Retry
November 8, 2025 at 6:02 AM
assaph.bsky.social
No 4 or a character name generator -- at which point it becomes no. 4 😅
the 4 types of writers 1. spent hours carefully choosing character name 2. can't decide so is using "placeholder" name that they'll inevitably not be able to change 3. named character after like, a street sign 4. character crashed onto page already named and you cannot change it
October 30, 2025 at 11:57 PM
assaph.bsky.social
Only for one character, and that's because I wanted things simpler (for me) at the start. Other parents were kept alive when they made characters' lives more... interesting 😜
Main character: you murdered my parents! Writer: For character development.
October 30, 2025 at 11:50 PM
assaph.bsky.social
Make it so 🤣
England is named after the Anglo-Saxons. However, things could have gone very differently: In our universe England is named after a Germanic tribe called the Angles. The language of England is called "English", and speakers of this language are called "Anglophone". [Map showing Scotland and England] In another universe Sexland is named after a Germanic tribe called the Saxons. The language of Sexland is called "Sexish", and speakers of this language are called "Saxophone". [Map showing Pictland and Sexland]
October 23, 2025 at 10:25 AM
assaph.bsky.social
Just in time for the spooky season 👻
The book that has everything* from #ghosts featureing in courtroom drama, revenge, intrigue, homicidal walking statues, and an obligatory trip down the sewers...
* Except an actual kitchen sink. It's based on #AncientRome, after all 🤣
A photo of the book "In Numina" by Assaph Mehr, lying in a bloody kitchen sink
October 23, 2025 at 7:37 AM
assaph.bsky.social
This pun is painful 🤣🏺
In ancient Rome, there were four types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees on pain. However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
October 21, 2025 at 4:47 AM
assaph.bsky.social
😆zeus: you are condemned to carry the weight of the sky.
atlas: ¯_(ツ)_/¯
zeus: you are condemned to carry the weight of the sky. atlas: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
October 20, 2025 at 8:55 AM
assaph.bsky.social
Some I already have (I *like* reading my stories). Some do not actually exist (typos are as inescapable as death and taxes). Others are overlapping, but 2k word/day and immunity from distractions sound lovely 😁
#writerslife
Title: You can only choose three potions: Row 1 (left to right): built-in mental thesaurus remember all of your worldbuilding banish imposter syndrome ability to finish your WIP Row 2: Marketable™ ideas never get tired of reading your own work infinite grammar skillz coherent first drafts Row 3: 2000 words every day guaranteed immune to distraction desire to actually write when you sit down eradicate typos permanently
October 15, 2025 at 9:16 AM
assaph.bsky.social
I have no trouble with said 😁
Indiana Jones replacing an object: "said" -> "words that no sane person would use in place of said"
October 11, 2025 at 8:38 PM
assaph.bsky.social
Realistic Indiana Jones movies 🏺😁
Realistic Indiana Jones movies * Indiana Jones and tomb that had already been looted by robbers in the 19th century * Indiana Jones and pottery fragment #1478 * Indiana Jones and the site discovered under somebody's house so there was no way to actually dig it * Indiana Jones and the famous treasure that actually turned out to be an ancient chamber pot * Indiana Jones and the temple of maybe three damaged columns * Indiana Jones and the intro to archaeology class that didn't give a shit and just wanted to pass for the gen ed credit
October 11, 2025 at 9:11 AM
assaph.bsky.social
Last 24 hours to grab this amazing anthology on the cheap!
It Takes A Village: a speculative anthology about the meaning of care. Edited by Eric Klein.
It Takes A Village: a speculative anthology about the meaning of care. Edited by Eric Klein. Can Care and Compassion be legislated? Utopia or Dystopia? What do Care and Compassion mean in the age of Artificial Intelligence? Is there space for care and compassion on interstellar travel? Penal Colony or war?
October 9, 2025 at 9:09 AM
assaph.bsky.social
One of my proudest side-projects: stories of care and compassion (and who doesn't need some these days?) On special this weekend, so grab your copy!
On Special - Oct 3-11! ebook $0.99! Book Title: It Takes A Village Subtitle: An Optimistic Anthology Speculating about the Meaning of Care Editors: Alison-Maynard Gillbee, KC Eric Klein (Plus Past Precedent, Internationalist, Women's Faction - smaller text) Story Themes/Content: Utopian and Dystopian Futures Assorted Gods (old and new) A Criminal Trial Shadowy Government Agencies Colony Ships and Interstellar Travel Tangible Benefits of Compassion Fantasy Social Justice Artificial Intelligence (of various flavors) The meaning and merit of Care
October 7, 2025 at 7:09 AM
assaph.bsky.social
It Takes A Village: a speculative anthology about the meaning of care, bringing some of the best indie #scifi and #fantasy voices to speculate about what it is to be human. On Promo this week! amzn.to/42pE2ww
It Takes A Village: ebook on $0.99 special Oct 3-11
October 4, 2025 at 8:30 PM
assaph.bsky.social
My latest newsletter: a short story. Can you guess which mountain?
egretia.substack.com/p/mountain-v...
Picture of a mountain
October 3, 2025 at 11:06 PM
assaph.bsky.social
May not work if you like writing in cafés.
1. Victor Hugo wrote naked. To meet deadlines, he locked away his clothes so he couldn't leave home. Naked at his desk, he forced himself to face the page. It worked: The Hunchback of Notre-Dame was finished on time. [The image also shows a photograph of Victor Hugo and a title page of "Les Misérables"]
October 3, 2025 at 4:58 AM
assaph.bsky.social
As someone who deals with AI professionally, I know well their ability around creative writing 😜
Dragon head: Trad books Dragon head: Indie books Stupid dragon head: AI books
September 29, 2025 at 9:14 PM
assaph.bsky.social
😅
Things that make writers nervous: 1. Writing 2. Not writing 3. Someone asking about the writing.
September 28, 2025 at 9:55 AM
assaph.bsky.social
Things to amuse the author #57 - naming your scenes: * Phallic surgery * NOT a road trip * Mission Impossible * Fight Club * Obligatory sewer trip * It's not over yet (All real scenes names! Some were the author inflicting misery on the characters, some were the characters fighting back 😈) In Victrix: A Story of Togas, Daggers, and Magiv
September 28, 2025 at 6:47 AM
assaph.bsky.social
Too true 😅Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it.
Those who do study history are doomed to run around screaming "AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY DON'T THESE FUCKING IDIOTS STUDY HISTORY!!!!!!!!!???
Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it. Those who do study history are doomed to run around screaming "AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY DON'T THESE FUCKING IDIOTS STUDY HISTORY!!!!!!!!!???
September 18, 2025 at 8:43 PM
assaph.bsky.social
I always imagined them as gremlins, but this works too 😅
Happy man: authors ready to publish their book Menacing psycho behind: Typos
September 14, 2025 at 7:25 AM
assaph.bsky.social
From years of experience in both Roman practices and Australian wildlife, I can attest this is true 😂😂
yknow it's a real shame that romans didn't have access to australia specifically for augury reasons. i really wish i could have seen a roman augur have to deal with australian birds. like imagine trying to properly interpret an omen from a fuckin. cassowary loving that the general consensus here is that "the omen when you see a cassowary is that you are about to die of cassowary"
September 12, 2025 at 5:37 AM
assaph.bsky.social
I'd get up (cranky, but still), and then get distracted by the kid asking about why one cat is humping the other and the dog barfing.
I'd be a terrible superhero. I'd see the signal calling in the sky from home, and be like "I literally just sat down."
September 11, 2025 at 10:03 PM
assaph.bsky.social
Pretty much true for politicians world-wide
A longboat full of Vikings, promoting the new British Museum exhibition, was seen sailing past the Palace of Westminster yesterday (see page 16). Famously uncivilised, destructive and rapacious, with an almost insatiable appetite for rough sex and heavy drinking, the MPs nonetheless looked up for a bit to admire the vessel.
September 7, 2025 at 2:34 AM
assaph.bsky.social
Ouch 😅
A bit part of being a writer is thinking about how cool your book would be if you actually wrote it
September 6, 2025 at 9:28 PM