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askamanager.org
Ask a Manager
@askamanager.org
9.9K followers 210 following 1.2K posts
Creator of Ask a Manager – home to all your questions about lunch-stealing bosses, coworkers who won't stop hugging you, and how much you can drink at work.
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askamanager.org
August 19, 2025 at 4:03 AM
askamanager.org
just takes him down out of nowhere and runs off
July 29, 2025 at 11:03 PM
askamanager.org
my response
Email response reading: "The letter-writer used "they" to refer to the employee, and in my answers I have a policy of respecting the pronouns the person writing in for advice used for the people in the letter. Maybe this employee is non-binary or maybe the writer used "they" to add anonymity to the question; I don't know. But "they" has been accepted as a singular pronoun for individuals for many years now and is endorsed by APA, AP, MLA, and many other style guides."
July 21, 2025 at 6:28 PM
askamanager.org
for the love of fuck

no, I'm not going to rewrite my answer to cater to your unhappiness about "they" pronouns

(only men send emails like this, by the way...)
Email reading: "Hello Alison, I’m a CEO coach and a former contributing editor to the then-most widely circulated publication to the small business community in New York City, The New York Enterprise Report. I’m pretty active on LinkedIn, and frequently repost compelling, well-written articles I find online. I found your July 7th article, Should I Let an Employee Resign Rather Than Firing Them? compelling, but elected not to repost it. Why? Because while otherwise well-written, it is replete with the use of third-person pronouns with a first-person subject (including right in the title) whenever the employee is referred to (curiously there is agreement whenever Mark is referred to). And being the stickler for grammar that I am, I just couldn’t let that pass. Indeed, in the same paragraph, we see both: “this employee is facing consequences—their job didn’t work out and they’re leaving it…” (it’s one single employee; they use of “their” and “they” suggests one or more employees are now involved)…“Mark’s desire for more consequences than that, when the problem has already been solved, comes across like he wants to twist the knife just on principle…” I’d really like to post this, Alison, and will if the third-party pronouns are changed to be second-party."
July 21, 2025 at 6:28 PM
askamanager.org
Jane is a hero
Not my mortification, but I witnessed it. I was working as an assistant to Jane, a woman who hit the “little old lady” stereotype even though she was in her forties. She wore a lot of cardigans she knitted herself and she quilted blankets for everyone who had a baby. She had quaint turns of phrase like “Thank you kindly,” which she even used in her email signature. She had a range of cat statues on her desk. That kind of thing. We had two newer employees who were both in their mid-20s, call them Frank and Hank, and they thought it would be hysterical to substitute words in a report they were writing for Jane with similar-sounding words that were slang terms for sex acts. They assumed this sweet innocent woman would never notice, and since she was the only one who would read it, no harm done. Jane got the document and called them in ten minutes later. I sat at my desk and listened while she grilled them about their “unusual word choices” until they broke down and admitted they had maybe used some slang terms they shouldn’t have. As a joke. Then she made them define each one. I could hear the absolute mortification in their voices as they struggled through explanations of terms I myself didn’t know, telling a woman they thought of as sweet and innocent all about these sexual terms. Then came the one where Hank defined it and Jane said, “No, that’s not what it means,” and provided a very detailed and technical explanation using proper medical terminology. Dead silence from Frank and Hank. Jane said, “Pranks like these make you look incompetent. Using words you don’t understand makes you look like fools. And making assumptions about your coworkers’ personal lives makes you look ignorant. Now you’re going to spend the next six months trying to prove to me that you’re none of those things, and it seems like that will be quite a challenge for you.” Frank and Hank played no more pranks for the rest of the time I worked there.
July 12, 2025 at 12:50 AM
askamanager.org
A black tuxedo kitty and a grey kitty curl up together.
June 8, 2025 at 1:42 AM
askamanager.org
This is pretty interesting from DoorDash - I haven't seen companies give people a way to opt out of marketing for specific holidays before (and am pretty sure they didn't do it for Mother's Day, although maybe I missed it)
Message from DoorDash saying, "We understand Father's Day holds different meaning for everyone. If you'd rather not receive any reminders or promotions, let us know. We'll take care of it. P.S. You'll still receive order updates and other offers."
May 30, 2025 at 4:19 PM
askamanager.org
Part 2 of 2
May 23, 2025 at 12:02 AM
askamanager.org
Ask a Manager readers have a meet-cute in the wild (their office). Part 1 of 2
May 23, 2025 at 12:02 AM
askamanager.org
whenever he comes across a litter box that has been freshly cleaned, he rolls around in it like this in joy. WHY
May 22, 2025 at 1:40 AM
askamanager.org
Always feel smugly like Lady No-Kids today
(credit: Will McPhail)
a cartoon titled The Adventures of Lady No-Kids. Drawing of a couple with a baby looking in dismay as a pantsless woman says, "Anyway, I'm gonna follow this goose for a while and see where I end up."
May 11, 2025 at 7:45 PM
askamanager.org
literally only men send me stuff like this
"Good morning Alison! I enjoy reading your column and the comments of your readers. Your advice is almost always spot on, although your political commentary is distracting and ill-advised. I wonder if you are concerned that you have become too much of a “niche” , a product suitable only to those who voted for Kamala Harris - quite possibly the worst presidential candidate of my lifetime: inauthentic, inarticulate, incompetent, an unqualified DEI disaster. To paraphrase Michael Jordan, Republicans have jobs and may need professional advice at times too ! I would have responded in your comment section, but you must know that you actively discourage conservative voices, constantly reminding your readers to report all the “trolls”. Facebook and Twitter , among others, have abandoned left-wing censorship policies of free speech. Perhaps you should consider that too. Best wishes!"
May 9, 2025 at 4:02 PM
askamanager.org
I have baked my first challah! Braid is slightly wonky but am very pleased
March 2, 2025 at 9:38 PM
askamanager.org
it turns out that in the ensuing 12 years, her views have gotten even weirder
February 28, 2025 at 9:30 PM
askamanager.org
you know how in offices there’s that one person who if you accidentally make eye contact with them during the day, they take it as an invitation to come over and interrupt your work to socialize, so you try not to make accidental eye contact with them? he is that for me
an obsessively intense cat
February 24, 2025 at 7:43 PM
askamanager.org
ahem
From Wash Post reporter: "A federal worker sent me audio of a call that HR did today with staff about "deferred resignation" agreements offered by DOGE ... I think this is pretty well understood by now but helps confirm what many suspect The audio goes: Employee: Lets say I accept the agreement tomorrow - you were to rescind the agreement and they were to stop paying me on Friday ... we would have no recourse available? HR official: Yes ... as the agreement is outlined that is absolutely correct"
February 5, 2025 at 8:25 PM
askamanager.org
Sophie (left) looks like a larger animal inside a cat suit
Lage brown kitty looking enormous next to normal sized white and orange kitty.
January 16, 2025 at 4:25 PM
askamanager.org
Left: what it was supposed to look like
Right: what I produced
On the left, a beautifully done amigurumi bird. On the right, a monstrosity.
December 31, 2024 at 9:39 PM
askamanager.org
younger sisters unite
Blog comment reading: "my younger sister used to make prank calls/emails/AIM messages posing as me, without my knowledge. The worst was when she emailed my soon-to-be college dorm roommate from my account with a list of all the “rules” I would be imposing on our dorm. Think things like no friends allowed in the room, no lights on after 8 pm, no crunchy foods, etc. The poor girl, understandably, thought I was crazy and asked to transfer to a different dorm. I didn’t speak to my sister for the entire rest of the summer. She’s lucky it worked out- I’m still friends 20 years later with the new roommate that was assigned to me after my sister scared the first one off."
December 19, 2024 at 6:03 PM
askamanager.org
Found a cat crime scene by the xmas tree this morning, with this ornament missing its head. The head cannot be found
December 18, 2024 at 3:29 AM
askamanager.org
the robot vacuum has met an enemy
December 6, 2024 at 8:56 PM
askamanager.org
my husband says: "I did a noir filter on Wallace and he looks like a world weary professor of antiquities"
November 23, 2024 at 4:27 AM
askamanager.org
here's a close-up of Grendel's expression
November 18, 2024 at 6:15 PM
askamanager.org
they’ve both been staring at that spot of light on the wall for 15 minutes
November 18, 2024 at 6:15 PM
askamanager.org
This is an amazing anecdote from an article on the ouster of the Smithsonian manager for being awful to staff
www.washingtonpost.com/entertainmen...
https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/art/2024/11/18/smithsonian-american-art-museum-director-stephanie-stebich/
November 18, 2024 at 3:18 PM