Im no longer able to be seen as reliable in the eyes of my cosplay friends and i haven’t had any motivation to make new plans, fix my situation, or even get out of bed in the morning. I chug 3 5hour energies a day just to distract my mind and keep me going

I’ve been involved in a group cosplan and at the very last minute my financial situation took a nose dive into the deep end. I became unable to keep the promises i made and no matter how much i tried i couldn’t dig myself out in time regardless of the fact i work nearly 24/7 now.

I don’t know where to go from here, but obviously this long road requires dedication and i need to stay away from the people i care about until i’m no longer seen as a destructive person to others or myself. I’ll still check in periodically and i don’t plan on canceling any plans i’ve already made.

I hate pity, i hate behaving this way, and if i could simple stop i would. My brain is running laps in my head and i keep hurting the exact same people that i made a promise to protect and treat better as i try to keep up and slow it down to a reasonable pace. I’ve let so many people down.

Thank you for all your support and hopefully we’ll all be laughing on stream again soon 💙🖤

At this time there is no eta when i will be streaming again, nor any eta as to when i may cosplay again, i’m taking a break to focus on my mental and physical health which i completely forgot about over the course of the past month.

Over the past month i’ve been attempting to reflect on some parts of me that i forgot about and the overwhelming regret of certain actions has been eating me alive. I do plan on coming back, but plans have changed and it’s not going to be the same.