Forget breakups, have you ever had to say goodbye to a therapist? Like, girl I’m thinking about you every day

Love to go to the bathroom at work and realize your fly has been down all day 😌

Passing the time on my walk home looking at the adoptable cats available near me

I feel like it would suck to be a celebrity and be forced to go to movie premiers of movies you could give less of a fuck about…and that’s why I’m not famous

Recap of newsletter I got:
- hanging incident at elementary school
- near-death robbery
- murderer thinks people don’t actually die
- walking pneumonia on the rise
Happy Monday???