I bet Clark Kent sometimes slips up and signs his name as "Superman" when he's drunk.

I know I do.

Went for a run.

It was just to the bathroom, but still.

My wife wants to know why the kids are hers and not “ours” when they do something wrong, as if I make the Rules.

Whenever I get an email with "TIME SENSITIVE!" in the subject, I always make sure to deal with it immediately just as soon as I'm done writing and posting this on Bluesky and playing my turn in Scrabble.

You know, when you see someone attractive, it's okay to stare at us.

Your shoes? I’m not even interested in walking a mile in my own shoes.

I know a lot of Jims. My favourite Jim is probably Pete. He spells Jim the silliest way. Two Es? A P and a T? LOL!! Oh Pete, you are one crazy Jim!

Science Fact of the Day : Babies are pretty soft already, so you can skip the fabric softener sheet when throwing them in the dryer.

Rough night. Too drowsy to operate heavy machinery. Moving on to light firearms.