Grooming is the most devastating form of abuse in the way that there is reams and reams of evidence of you saying this person is so wonderful.

Oh no it's a very common response to wanting to be adopted by her

Oh sis if only I could explain to you the phenomenon that is tamil actor Abbas...

I was at this event where some psychiatrist was weighing in on "arts education" and speaking about how art helped her autistic patients express themselves and communicate. Ticked me off the way she described autism in a way that reinforced the patient-ness, the sorrow™ of the parents™ and whatnot.

I don't have answers but it's a good question to ponder.

This ...thing... has persisted through all the ways in which I've changed over the years. The thing that comes closest to being a meaningful explanation is 'ADHD ppl have difficulty regulating emotions' but I don't live by such shit anymore, I'm not a 23yo trauma baby.

I've been on both sides of this. And very often I feel fully justified in going and asking someone how they could be so cruel as to live a life without me, and on the flip side I feel fully justified in asking "fuck did I do wrong?! have empathy for my busy life."

And if you're sitting and pining for them this feels insane. monstrous. how can life go on? how could they be so cruel? And they're like. munching on parathas and massaging tired shoulders from the workday.

Like if you hang out with them on Monday and then go back home, on Tuesday they have like. Two meetings at the office, a lunch date, finished a level on the video game in the evening, bantered with the gc, a full night's sleep.