Ardea
@ardeacygnus.bsky.social
A queer witch at a weird place in her life
What do I do and what do I do I'm spiraling again whaaat do I do!!!
August 10, 2025 at 9:46 PM
What do I do and what do I do I'm spiraling again whaaat do I do!!!
I called the crisis line last night AND this morning, learned I shouldn't go inpatient bc Indiana sucks, designated adult is coming later today, WHAT DO I DO. I AM TRYING SO HARD. WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOO
August 10, 2025 at 4:32 PM
I called the crisis line last night AND this morning, learned I shouldn't go inpatient bc Indiana sucks, designated adult is coming later today, WHAT DO I DO. I AM TRYING SO HARD. WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOO
I need to fucking sleep i need to fucking sleep i need to fucking sleep i just have to much to process i can't deal with this
August 10, 2025 at 4:29 PM
I need to fucking sleep i need to fucking sleep i need to fucking sleep i just have to much to process i can't deal with this
I guess five hours of sleep is better than zero hours of sleep
August 9, 2025 at 7:56 AM
I guess five hours of sleep is better than zero hours of sleep
I don't have a car or a credit card, but Chidi's breakdown is 1000% how I feel after every interaction with Lyla. Everything I have is yours and it's totally fine
August 5, 2025 at 3:56 AM
I don't have a car or a credit card, but Chidi's breakdown is 1000% how I feel after every interaction with Lyla. Everything I have is yours and it's totally fine
How sleep when mind exploding
August 4, 2025 at 5:53 AM
How sleep when mind exploding
Say what you will about Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and how cringe it is, but Bruno Bucciarati is the best character in that series and he deserved SO MUCH BETTER
August 4, 2025 at 2:09 AM
Say what you will about Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and how cringe it is, but Bruno Bucciarati is the best character in that series and he deserved SO MUCH BETTER
Just started a message to a cishet friend with "gonna be a lil gay here" and tbh that should be my tagline
August 4, 2025 at 1:35 AM
Just started a message to a cishet friend with "gonna be a lil gay here" and tbh that should be my tagline
I thought Lyla had a stroke Friday before last. I catastrophize, I understand that, I referred to it as a really bad seizure. Tried to keep an eye out, but second-guessed. Took her to the vet today. Vet immediately noticed one side of her face drooping more than the other. She had a fucking stroke.
July 28, 2025 at 10:35 PM
I thought Lyla had a stroke Friday before last. I catastrophize, I understand that, I referred to it as a really bad seizure. Tried to keep an eye out, but second-guessed. Took her to the vet today. Vet immediately noticed one side of her face drooping more than the other. She had a fucking stroke.
I'm noticing the blocked chest and unproductive cough more and more, and now the rattle is starting. I'm fighting a broken mental health system to face that I'm a lot more messed up than I thought, my dog is dying, for fuck's fucking sake, I cannot fucking get pneumonia again on top of everything.
July 20, 2025 at 4:00 PM
I'm noticing the blocked chest and unproductive cough more and more, and now the rattle is starting. I'm fighting a broken mental health system to face that I'm a lot more messed up than I thought, my dog is dying, for fuck's fucking sake, I cannot fucking get pneumonia again on top of everything.
PTSD has defined a lot of my life, and by now I can recognize when an event is being etched into my brain as another trauma.
July 19, 2025 at 8:55 AM
PTSD has defined a lot of my life, and by now I can recognize when an event is being etched into my brain as another trauma.
I'm rediscovering how much of a catharsis loud, screaming music is. Lately I always want to either scream at the top of my lungs, or say nothing at all. It honestly helps both.
July 17, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I'm rediscovering how much of a catharsis loud, screaming music is. Lately I always want to either scream at the top of my lungs, or say nothing at all. It honestly helps both.
I really don't know what it says about me that Chidi Anagonye's mental breakdown is one of the single most relatable character arcs in the history of fiction for me
July 12, 2025 at 4:50 AM
I really don't know what it says about me that Chidi Anagonye's mental breakdown is one of the single most relatable character arcs in the history of fiction for me
I was gonna make a funny haha post about how Tool is one of my favorite bands and that is DEFINITELY not a cry for help and then every autocorrect prompt was...DEFINITELY concerning...
July 9, 2025 at 9:18 PM
I was gonna make a funny haha post about how Tool is one of my favorite bands and that is DEFINITELY not a cry for help and then every autocorrect prompt was...DEFINITELY concerning...
Fuck it. I'm smart. I don't care if my mom dies mad about it. I don't care if Other People who need to be better than me die mad about it. I am a very intelligent person, despite not having a proper education. I am The Smart Person in my friend group.
July 2, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Fuck it. I'm smart. I don't care if my mom dies mad about it. I don't care if Other People who need to be better than me die mad about it. I am a very intelligent person, despite not having a proper education. I am The Smart Person in my friend group.
Recently learned that a former coworker (still friend) asked another coworker about me when he started. One of the first things second coworker said about me was "deep voice." Ten years ago, that might've upset me. When he said it the other day, I just said, "contralto, baby!" I LOVE my deep voice.
July 1, 2025 at 10:31 PM
Recently learned that a former coworker (still friend) asked another coworker about me when he started. One of the first things second coworker said about me was "deep voice." Ten years ago, that might've upset me. When he said it the other day, I just said, "contralto, baby!" I LOVE my deep voice.
People care about me and what I have to say. Not just how I can serve them and cater to their whims. I need to learn to respect myself.
June 27, 2025 at 1:16 AM
People care about me and what I have to say. Not just how I can serve them and cater to their whims. I need to learn to respect myself.
Currently getting enraged about ridiculously gendered singing term. Okay, I'll take the term contralto, I already knew that. But if the person whose range is closest to mine (Joey Batey) is a tenor, why don't I count as a tenor??? Who CARES about your genitals, all that matters is how you sound!
June 17, 2025 at 1:41 PM
Currently getting enraged about ridiculously gendered singing term. Okay, I'll take the term contralto, I already knew that. But if the person whose range is closest to mine (Joey Batey) is a tenor, why don't I count as a tenor??? Who CARES about your genitals, all that matters is how you sound!
Someone please convince me that taking swigs of pickle juice is NOT the same thing as eating food
June 16, 2025 at 5:23 PM
Someone please convince me that taking swigs of pickle juice is NOT the same thing as eating food
As a witch, can we PLEASE stop this stupid fucking circle-jerk around chaos magic? It's really pushed me out of the few communities I've found. You ain't that special, you're just obsessed with yourselves. Literally the edgelords of the witching world.
June 16, 2025 at 2:47 PM
As a witch, can we PLEASE stop this stupid fucking circle-jerk around chaos magic? It's really pushed me out of the few communities I've found. You ain't that special, you're just obsessed with yourselves. Literally the edgelords of the witching world.
Apparently it's not normal to think about kys all day every day, at least according to my crisis counselor 🥲🙃
June 16, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Apparently it's not normal to think about kys all day every day, at least according to my crisis counselor 🥲🙃
It is a WILD battle between your parent always telling you as a child "there's nothing wrong with you, you don't understand what abuse is" (while they were abusing you to the point CPS should've been called) and constantly pacing across your apartment as an adult and just screaming
June 14, 2025 at 10:48 PM
It is a WILD battle between your parent always telling you as a child "there's nothing wrong with you, you don't understand what abuse is" (while they were abusing you to the point CPS should've been called) and constantly pacing across your apartment as an adult and just screaming
Well shit, a new deity may be reaching out to me for the first time in years. I guess it's about time.
June 14, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Well shit, a new deity may be reaching out to me for the first time in years. I guess it's about time.