Trying to force myself into alternating between "hack on code" and "explain code" has been a lot more helpful than initially expected, especially when it comes to stuff that isn't already old hat.

sometimes it *does* seem to pay off to NIH allocators and locks though, this is at least twice as fast as the previous "duct tape a bunch of stuff together as janky as possible" prototype

no optimizations or tuning have been done at all, nor even anywhere near sufficient testing, but at least it doesn't crash or hit any of the limited number of internal asserts

In the past, we've tended to work through most of this experimentation process completely in our head. This doesn't seem to be effective anymore. In any case, it's the year 2024 and cringe is dead, so why _not_ offer the internet at large a peek inside our brain?

nyanyanya~!

since we did "successful" learn how to write (albeit never legibly) and do fine motor work like e.g. SMD soldering, we never even considered there might be a problem until UK friends with the diagnosis label pointed it out to us.

Interestingly, we had never even heard of this diagnosis label until we got to the UK. The US doesn't seem to talk about or screen for it nearly as much as the UK does, and, ...

We've always historically been in a situation where we could ignore all of that, but living alone in a foreign country means that it now seems to be severely limiting us.

We've been noticing over the past year of living alone that we *hate* doing a lot of adulting chores, and introspection into why has mostly concluded "A lot of the gross muscle movements just feel *wrong* They're not painful the way injuries are, but brain on a subconscious level resists doing them"