yk what, fuck you
*takes out my tiny sentient screwdriver that I carry with me at all times and unscrews your fridge door. the screwdriver screams with the agony of a thousand slaughtered pigs*
oh that? yeah no I won him off a gnome in the woods. yeah he hates it. yeah see you later man.

me, making cabbage rolls for the first time: hehe I cooka da polenta
the ghost of a Romanian coal miner who died in 1895 and now lives vengefully in my walls: o mie de blesteme ciumatoare asupra satului tău

just saw two middled aged runners go past and said, out loud 'sometimes I like to imagine they're chasing each other, frolicking like lion cubs in the savanna. nature truly is beautiful.'
i hope they maul each other in a dispute over their endangered habitats.

houthi up timmying they chalamet rn??????

Gordon ramsay finding out about brainrot: oh fuck me, dequavious porkpay? what the fuck is that? we're really in the shit now, we've got to stop the rot. fucking hell.
*fast fwd to the end of the episode*
we've really turned it round. haha, dequavious porkpay, won't be seeing that again. fuck me.

therian Danny Brown making anthropomorphic exhibition:
sticky icky nuts
real furry butts
#dannybrown

le sigh... another day of waking up next to my beautiful tender boyfriend and not an evil bavarian woman who keeps trying to ensnare me in various saw-like traps to teach me the importance of wealth redistribution....

fuck my stupid big chungus life....

yeah well ever since john lennon got his head blown off in the 60s, nothings really mattered

me: oh boy I sure wish there was a place near university where I could send post, withdraw money and buy various pieces of stationary!
the wondrous Shelton post office:

who up mounting they police unit rn?????