Corollary. He succeeds in wooing her. She's not very sexual at all and thoroughly encourages him to get all the satisfaction he needs out of me.

They end up getting a place together and claim me as their property. I get no say in it. I'm moving with them. I'm the glue that keeps them together.

I am jealous of an egg

Remind him my body is free use should he desire assistance. And probably ask for a good sniff

Sounds like we need to give you even more rice

"Sorry bro I just gotta use your muzzle as a fleshlight real quick, I promise it won't be long!"

Somebody really should teach him about pineapples though.

Depends how granular you want to get. Sexuality and romanticism don't need to be linked. You're allowed to have sexual interest in men without the emotional connection of wanting more. You could go as bisexual/heteroromantic. But simply saying bi is a lot easier. Tell them more if there's a reason