I've been at it for six months too, got my BA and ten years of design experience... None of that seems to matter

Four interviews (got none of them) and nearly all for positions that are severely underpaying for the ludicrous amount of work they expect

I really don't know what to do

None of that is an issue, but this being that I am is perhaps never going to be appealing enough for anyone, never enough, never attractive

I'm at peace with being enough for myself because I'm comfortable with the person I am, I enjoy being me and have no guilt about the feelings I feel and the things that I know and all that I enjoy and dislike

Maybe I should be content enough with being remembered, even if barely, but I think I have the right to desire something more than to simply hold memory in someone

I want to matter to someone

I always know it's just a matter of time before people forget about me and perhaps from time to time they'll remember something about me and perhaps they'll feel good enough to send a message but the discomfort of being far will never be enough for them to reconnect

I'm, at best, a memory

I guess this is how dreams die, huh? With a whimper

Even if I couldn't have a relationship with someone, I'd be happy enough if I had a close support group, but I don't, I'm the most isolated I've ever been

Friendship by itself is so complicated, always feeling like I'm close to having a real deal friend and never feeling like it'll last

I've tried very hard not to take it personally because realistically it probably has nothing to do with me but I'll always feel like perhaps I'm just not good enough for others and may never be

For what it's worth, I appreciate your thought. There's a lot there that I resonate with and I'd often thought I was the only one feeling it. Thank you for saying something.

All of this is enough to think that there's more than a few folks out there that need a well deserved fist to the face until their noggin clicks back into working order

Also insane to think that living in a country is enough reason to not have criticism of it and yet more insane when people tell others to "leave if you don't like it" as if somehow that's sane to suggest

It's crazy to inflict this level of cynicism, indifference, and hostility toward your fellow man in a situation where realistically you're no better off than anyone else (unless if you're so wealthy that finances are no longer measured in dollars but in assets)

If an 80 year old woman is working doordash to make ends meet, it must be because she's made bad financial decisions, she's a drug abuser, etc and never because the system has failed even our most elderly

Somehow there are those who think said woman deserves this because this is what she "chose"

I am simply a tender person who would like to be doted on, I don't ask for much, maybe a cup of water