Went to the dermatologist for a basic dry skin issue (no itching or redness) and when the derm walked into the room she said “oh I see the rash you’re concerned about” as she pointed at what I thought was my naturally rosy cheeks 😐

Lab tech taking my blood said “I gotta say, you look really good for your age!” Do we think she did the math wrong when looking at my DOB or is 30 now considered pretty old 🤔

Gotta have captions when watching tv and eating chips cus I can’t hear over my crunching

Need: inconspicuous belay glasses but for looking at my phone while in a meeting

Overheard in the chalet:

-aw man I forgot my swim trunks at the house
-just wear your briefs
-I’m not wearing any
-you having nothing on under your bibs?
-long johns
-what the fuck are long johns?