Being a Trump supporter is like marrying an asshole
You feel protected
You think he won't fuck you over if you look pretty and constantly make him feel better about himself
Ask the ladies in the gated communities how that worked out for them

I hate when Agent Mulder cries cuz he sticks his lower lip out and looks like a stupid little baby

Where are the dead hooker jokes when you need 'em?

For the last time
YMCA is about Not having buttsex in the bathroom

Those old guys in the I can't get up commercials are such losers

Fn brain worm :(

I have a dream that one day my children will be judged not by the color of their Crocs but by the content of their multivitamin

Le pizza rolls et Bleu fromage dressing

Tv butthole says you should get your kids ready for 1st day of school by making them ask permission to go to the fucking bathroom

I'm saving up the little rocks that form around my eyeballs until I have enough to build a tiny house

What are your long-term goals?

Wishing everyone a very happy dave-mathews-dumped-800-pounds-of-poo-on-a-river-cruise-in-Chicago Day!

I made a Barbee movie too♡