Angry Breakfast
@angrybreakfast.bsky.social
Lord of shawties, haver of frequent stomach issues
Pinned
I ask every cop who pulls me over a “riddle me this” type question to see if any of them can riddle me this
We are living in the ruins of the Golden Age of Cringe. Where once a man could proclaim dark designs to shadow the hedgehog edits, now we must apologize for the wolf within, and peeing on the rug is forbidden
December 19, 2025 at 9:51 PM
We are living in the ruins of the Golden Age of Cringe. Where once a man could proclaim dark designs to shadow the hedgehog edits, now we must apologize for the wolf within, and peeing on the rug is forbidden
The booktok girlies are clobbering my femur with a steel pipe
December 16, 2025 at 8:44 PM
The booktok girlies are clobbering my femur with a steel pipe
Uh oh he’s steely Dan posting again
December 12, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Uh oh he’s steely Dan posting again
Who up Reelin’ in they Years?
Who up Stowin away they Time?
Who up Stowin away they Time?
December 12, 2025 at 7:41 PM
Who up Reelin’ in they Years?
Who up Stowin away they Time?
Who up Stowin away they Time?
Guys who can’t jack off without Steely Dan’s “realin’ in the years” playing in the background
December 6, 2025 at 1:05 PM
Guys who can’t jack off without Steely Dan’s “realin’ in the years” playing in the background
When the Butthole Surfers said “I don’t mind the sand sometimes” they clearly hadn’t met Anakin SkyWalker or Paul Atreides
November 28, 2025 at 2:10 PM
When the Butthole Surfers said “I don’t mind the sand sometimes” they clearly hadn’t met Anakin SkyWalker or Paul Atreides
Big drama going down in the Slimy Idiot community
November 25, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Big drama going down in the Slimy Idiot community
My wife and I saw you from across the sands if Arakis, and we walked over all weird so as not to alert the worms
November 22, 2025 at 6:08 PM
My wife and I saw you from across the sands if Arakis, and we walked over all weird so as not to alert the worms
My wife and I saw you from across the Spencers Gifts and thought you might like to kill yourself and us
November 22, 2025 at 6:07 PM
My wife and I saw you from across the Spencers Gifts and thought you might like to kill yourself and us
My wife and I saw you from across the public pool and wanted to know if you wanna play mermaids
November 22, 2025 at 6:05 PM
My wife and I saw you from across the public pool and wanted to know if you wanna play mermaids
My wife and I saw you from across the Uber Rideshare and thought you might be okay if we added twelve stops
November 22, 2025 at 6:04 PM
My wife and I saw you from across the Uber Rideshare and thought you might be okay if we added twelve stops
Kingdoms will rise and fall before I ever use my parking break
November 18, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Kingdoms will rise and fall before I ever use my parking break
Doc, the problem is Shawty like a melody in my head
November 17, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Doc, the problem is Shawty like a melody in my head
I’ve been letting it linger quite a bit lately. Mostly cuz I have to
November 11, 2025 at 1:03 AM
I’ve been letting it linger quite a bit lately. Mostly cuz I have to
Shout out to guys who are me. shout out to me
November 11, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Shout out to guys who are me. shout out to me
I don’t wanna jinx it but I can’t believe NYC is gonna have its first mayor who is also babygirl coded
November 4, 2025 at 2:46 PM
I don’t wanna jinx it but I can’t believe NYC is gonna have its first mayor who is also babygirl coded
Thank the lord above for the Bing search engine
November 1, 2025 at 1:19 PM
Thank the lord above for the Bing search engine
If you ever see me wrestling to open a jar of mayonnaise, HELP THE MAYONAISE
October 14, 2025 at 6:06 PM
If you ever see me wrestling to open a jar of mayonnaise, HELP THE MAYONAISE
In my dust era. particle pilled. He’s so vapor-coded.
October 5, 2025 at 3:35 PM
In my dust era. particle pilled. He’s so vapor-coded.
Sometimes I vibe so chill that moss grows on me and I am returned to the soil
October 2, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Sometimes I vibe so chill that moss grows on me and I am returned to the soil
Shawties be like “I need a redbull” but that will not heal the wounds of existence. Like a faucet, time will continue to seep out, shawty
October 2, 2025 at 12:12 PM
Shawties be like “I need a redbull” but that will not heal the wounds of existence. Like a faucet, time will continue to seep out, shawty
Tying a bunch of helium balloons to grandma so she thinks she got raptured but it’s actually just the balloons
September 24, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Tying a bunch of helium balloons to grandma so she thinks she got raptured but it’s actually just the balloons
Saying “stay frosty” goes so hard when you’re in enemy territory, bro
September 5, 2025 at 1:17 PM
Saying “stay frosty” goes so hard when you’re in enemy territory, bro
The penguins at the zoo, they tell me to conquer worlds. “Yes penguins, with haste” I respond
September 1, 2025 at 12:38 PM
The penguins at the zoo, they tell me to conquer worlds. “Yes penguins, with haste” I respond