I'm the Sebulber. Didn't notice/missed the opportunity to include a message from the mobile app.

So who is responsible for creating the danger of people falling for random but authoritative sounding text as if it were legitimate advice?

The companies making the janky-ass products and claiming to be creating artificial gods.

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(Plus, who knows how it had been stowed onboard. In addition to the ripples, it also looks really crinkly/wrinkled)

With no air friction and some (but not Earth levels of) downward pull from gravity, I expect it would be flapping around for quite a while after planting the pole, especially if it was a lightweight fabric.