androo
@androoo.bsky.social
Alright, let's do this one last time.
Sea level? When has the sea ever been level? Un-levelness is like the main thing of the sea
November 21, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Sea level? When has the sea ever been level? Un-levelness is like the main thing of the sea
In The Before Times, Coke put out an ad that was so damn good and artful that I watch it on YouTube to kick off every holiday season: youtu.be/AXXPIk4v6aw?...
November 4, 2025 at 12:44 PM
In The Before Times, Coke put out an ad that was so damn good and artful that I watch it on YouTube to kick off every holiday season: youtu.be/AXXPIk4v6aw?...
I spent all yesterday marathon watching, searching for the following bib numbers to no avail:
80085
42069
24601
80085
42069
24601
November 3, 2025 at 8:01 PM
I spent all yesterday marathon watching, searching for the following bib numbers to no avail:
80085
42069
24601
80085
42069
24601
Just saw an "accept cookies" button that read I AM FINE WITH THIS and... yeah that's accurate
October 31, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Just saw an "accept cookies" button that read I AM FINE WITH THIS and... yeah that's accurate
Me to an ice cold beer tomorrow night
October 30, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Me to an ice cold beer tomorrow night
I am going to find an Rx Bar that has 7 almonds instead of 6 and sue them for everything they're worth
October 29, 2025 at 3:27 PM
I am going to find an Rx Bar that has 7 almonds instead of 6 and sue them for everything they're worth
Too many celebrity alcohol collabs already but if I saw a Hilary Duff Barrel-Aged Rye called Distilary Duff I would have no choice but to purchase it
October 24, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Too many celebrity alcohol collabs already but if I saw a Hilary Duff Barrel-Aged Rye called Distilary Duff I would have no choice but to purchase it
Integrity means deleting tasks that have become irrelevant in task management software, not marking them as done, despite the dopamine hit it would bring
September 9, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Integrity means deleting tasks that have become irrelevant in task management software, not marking them as done, despite the dopamine hit it would bring
It's me, the guy from the original cracker barrel logo. I just wanted to retire in peace. Let me rest. My ass hurts from this wicker chair so bad it's not ergonomic at all
August 22, 2025 at 2:57 PM
It's me, the guy from the original cracker barrel logo. I just wanted to retire in peace. Let me rest. My ass hurts from this wicker chair so bad it's not ergonomic at all
Just wrote a crazy line a villain in a comic book could say:
"YOU CAN'T SPELL EMPATHETIC... WITHOUT PATHETIC!"
"YOU CAN'T SPELL EMPATHETIC... WITHOUT PATHETIC!"
August 8, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Just wrote a crazy line a villain in a comic book could say:
"YOU CAN'T SPELL EMPATHETIC... WITHOUT PATHETIC!"
"YOU CAN'T SPELL EMPATHETIC... WITHOUT PATHETIC!"
Switched from airpods to over-ear headphones at work because I don't want my coworkers in my ear canals
August 6, 2025 at 1:25 PM
Switched from airpods to over-ear headphones at work because I don't want my coworkers in my ear canals
Just wanted to apologize that my gargoyle has been acting so weird lately. I'm running a bit low on garg-oil so he's just gonna be a little out of whack until I get a chance to swing by the emporium
July 30, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Just wanted to apologize that my gargoyle has been acting so weird lately. I'm running a bit low on garg-oil so he's just gonna be a little out of whack until I get a chance to swing by the emporium
The streets call me “Lincoln Logs” the way I’m constantly logging movies on Letterboxd that I watched at AMC Lincoln Square 😤
July 28, 2025 at 6:20 PM
The streets call me “Lincoln Logs” the way I’m constantly logging movies on Letterboxd that I watched at AMC Lincoln Square 😤
Doing a bit where I scream as I join a Zoom call and act like I was teleported/summoned through spacetime to the meeting against my will
July 24, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Doing a bit where I scream as I join a Zoom call and act like I was teleported/summoned through spacetime to the meeting against my will
Why is "Declines with regret" the only "no" on an RSVP? What if I decline with jubilance, relief, a chuckle, or ominousness? What then?
July 24, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Why is "Declines with regret" the only "no" on an RSVP? What if I decline with jubilance, relief, a chuckle, or ominousness? What then?
The ideal cheese shop doesn’t exi—
July 23, 2025 at 11:17 PM
The ideal cheese shop doesn’t exi—
Asking Walmart to price match a PS5 to my buddy Frank's price of a 30-minute foot rub
July 23, 2025 at 1:13 PM
Asking Walmart to price match a PS5 to my buddy Frank's price of a 30-minute foot rub
Just heard a construction guy passive-aggressively call his coworker “an interesting individual”
July 23, 2025 at 12:26 PM
Just heard a construction guy passive-aggressively call his coworker “an interesting individual”
Got upset today learning the serving size for spinach was the entire bag. I am not a brontosaurus I am but a man
July 22, 2025 at 2:56 AM
Got upset today learning the serving size for spinach was the entire bag. I am not a brontosaurus I am but a man
High-fructose corn stirrups
July 17, 2025 at 4:21 PM
High-fructose corn stirrups
Send me twenty bucks and a Zoom link and I will hijack your company meeting wearing a Max Headroom mask
July 15, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Send me twenty bucks and a Zoom link and I will hijack your company meeting wearing a Max Headroom mask
Rapscallion cream cheese
July 12, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Rapscallion cream cheese
Just walked past a barber shop that sells hats with their name on it. That doesn’t give me a lot of confidence in their haircuts
July 12, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Just walked past a barber shop that sells hats with their name on it. That doesn’t give me a lot of confidence in their haircuts
Feel like I would get really emotional if I could go to a museum of every shoe I ever owned in my life
July 12, 2025 at 4:02 AM
Feel like I would get really emotional if I could go to a museum of every shoe I ever owned in my life